An all new season of 90 Day Fiance debuted Sunday and Tania Maduro stocked up on toys ahead of South African beau Syngin Colchester‘s arrival. The new cast promises all the cringe, delusion and crazy fans have come to know and love. Sunday’s show introduced us to five of the seven couples who will feature in Season 7. There’s Tania and Syngin. Plus, Anna Campisi and Mursel Mistanoglu, two transcontinental beekeepers in love.
This season’s “model” is 23-year-old Juliana Custodio of Brazil. She’s engaged to Michael Jessen, a wealthy 40-something with some fast cars, an ex-wife and two sassy kids. Plus, Emily Larina is about to give birth any day in Russia to her baby with fiance Sasha Larin. So, let’s check out season 7 episode 1 I Want To Kiss You in this recap.
90 Day Fiance Recap: Anna Campisi Can’t Wait To Show Mursel Mistanoglu Her Bees… And Let Him Mind Her Hives
Anna Campisi is a 38-year-old Nebraskan beekeeper and single mom of three sons. According to Anna, her ex wasn’t exactly a great guy, and is no longer in her boy’s lives. While she loves her bees even though they sometimes sting, she was ready for some human companionship. She met Mursel Mistanoglu, who lives in Turkey, on a beekeeping Facebook page. In a sea of 90 Day Fiance crazy, this does kind of make sense. Meeting someone based on common interest instead of just seeing heavily filtered profile pics and declaring love.
There are a few challenges the bee loving couple face. Her kids are open to the idea, but being two are teens they are snarky about it. Even suggesting she feed him bacon which is against his Muslim religion. The language barrier is another one. The two use a translator app. On the upside, Anna has at least met him and spent time with him in Turkey. Being Muslim, Mursel doesn’t drink alcohol. Whereas Anna admits to enjoying a glass of wine, or two or three.
Anna meets with the obligatory sensible friend on 90 Day Fiance. That friend with the sensible hair who’s there to tell her she’s nuts. Anna sticks to her guns and heads to pick up Mursel at the airport to start the K1 process in America. He clearly struggles with English leading him to tell a producer “I want to kiss you”. He also has made a friend on the flight who awkwardly shows up to hug him goodbye. The two head to a hotel for the night before returning to Anna’s home in Nebraska.
— Analytical Palm Tree (@irchik611) November 4, 2019
Michael Jessen Tries Hard Not To Come Off As “Douchey” On 90 Day Fiance… and Fails
Michael Jessen is 42 and a wine entrepreneur living in Connecticut. He’s the poster child for the mid-life crisis starter kit. He’s got an ex-wife, two awesome kids, fast cars, vintage guitars and a cool watch. Oh. And a 23-year-old hot Brazilian model girlfriend, Juliana Custodio whom he met when she was 20. Well, model in the 90 Day Fiance sense. Meaning you have lots of photos of yourself in bikinis on beaches, but none that are actually in a magazine.
He says he tries hard not to sound “douchey” or like an old sleazy rich guy. But it’s kind of too late already. Michael Jesen met Juliana Custodio on a yacht party in Croatia with lots of celebrities. And said when he first saw her he knew they were “kindred spirits”. If that’s what we call it these days. And he’s given her access to all his credit cards. He takes his kids for ice cream and explains that if things go well at Juliana’s visa interview she will be here soon.
Michael’s 11-year-old son points out that Juliana is closer to him in age than to his Dad. And seems more baby sitter material than stepmom. Later Michael shows the kids the new house he bought for when Juliana moves here. Right around the corner from their mom. Of course, we then meet his ex Sarah on 90 Day Fiance, who takes the role of sympathetic and stable ex. But underneath isn’t going to stand any part of this thong-clad yacht hopper around her kids. Should be interesting.
— B*tches on Brand (@btchespodcast) November 4, 2019
90 Day Fiance: Tania Maduro Wants To Put Baby (and Her Lube) in a Corner
Tania Maduro is a self-proclaimed wild woman, bartender and activist. We meet the young Connecticut native in an adult shop picking out libido boosters, lingerie and whirring pleasure devices. She says it’s never too early to spice things up. And Tania calls it confidence – not crazy. Or maybe it’s really called “I’m trying too hard”. Nonetheless, Tania Maduro is no shrinking violet. After a toxic relationship, she met a guy online and flew to South Africa to join him on a whim the next day.
Once in South Africa, the guy turned out to be not so good. So Tania ventured out to a bar and met a hot bartender named Syngin Colchester. And ended up staying for two months. After doing the long-distance thing, Syngin is now coming to America on a K1 visa. Tania Maduro describes Syngin Colchester as a mountain man who loves mother earth. We see a pic of Syngin nekkid, long hair flowing on a hike with his arse blurred out. The only thing Syngin’s missing is a pan flute on 90 Day Fiance.
When Syngin Colchester arrives, they will move into Tania’s mom’s she-shed in the back yard. Her mom warns Tania Maduro not to come out in the morning when she’s in the hot tub having a drink at 7:00 am. I like mom already. So, Tania heads to NYC to pick up Syngin Colchester at the airport. Her best friends come along. The trio is late as Tania spent too much time getting ready and setting out lube, condoms and rose petals. Maybe if this doesn’t work, she can hook up with Caesar Mack from 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days.
— Cat ❤️ (@Liberiangeh) November 4, 2019
Emily Larina Says Third Time Will Be The Charm For Sasha
Emily Larina is from Portland, Oregon and now living in Volgograd, Russia. A former wild child in her twenties, she decided to move to Russia to teach English. Even though she can’t even order a cup of tea in Russian. She went there because she liked Russian literature and imagined a wonderland. But was shocked to land there and come to find it was freezing and the city was deteriorating. She was lonely and needed human interaction so she joined a gym.
She found plenty of human interaction in the form of Sasha. A hot personal trainer with bulging biceps, and two ex-wives. He has a child with each of them. And now Emily’s pregnant. And they are getting married. Emily’s due date is just four days away when we meet her on 90 Day Fiance. She’s having the baby in Russia. Her sister asks over video chat whether she really thought this through. And if the nurses can even speak English.
Emily’s sister’s nagging makes her dizzy and she hangs up and calls Sasha to come and get her. She understands her sister’s concern but she loves Sasha. She says his past is the past and calls the other 2 baby mama’s his “mistakes”. But that they are different. They will last. Sasha stands up for himself and says he’s not a bad guy despite what people think. After the baby is born the two plan to move to America. Emily has already filed for his K1 Visa.
“I speak a little Russian. I can’t order tea, but I’m sure I’ll be able to follow Russian medical jargon while I’m pushing a watermelon out my hooha.” – Emily, probably #90Dayfiance
— Lisa J (@Sugarfix0613) November 4, 2019
Robert Hopes Anny’s Not All About The Money
Robert is a rideshare driver and single dad in Winter Park, Florida on 90 Day Fiance. He loves his job because the flex schedule allows him to be there for his son Bryson. Who he says is his best friend and mini-me. Bryson’s mom isn’t in the picture. Robert met Anny through a mutual Facebook friend. He immediately liked what he saw of the beauty from the Dominican Republic and says one thing led to another. So he booked a cruise that would stop one day there.
After just 8 hours with Anny Robert proposed. She says yes and now she’s moving to Florida to be his queen. They face time and Bryson joins in grunting loudly. Leading her to joke that she’s scared of him. Robert tells her she will need to help with mom-like duties such as getting him to school. She says that she will need an iPhone and Robert says she isn’t getting an I-Phone. She also doesn’t have a ring yet. He says he’s not cheap but isn’t ready to spend a lot on a ring yet.
On 90 Day Fiance Robert goes lingerie shopping for Anny. The well-meaning clerk asks if he knows her size. He says not really, but she has a big butt. Robert shows her a pic of Anny and the clerk picks out something on a mannequin that Robert vetoes. He gets a message and steps out. Anny is sending angry emoji after angry emoji because she didn’t get the money he says he wired. They argue and he says he hopes Anny’s not “all about the money”. Good luck with that.
90 Day Fiance is on Sunday nights at 8 PM on TLC.
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