’90 Day Fiance’: Sweaty Benjamin Haggles – Darcey Gets Bluff Box ‘Before the 90 Days’ [Recap]

This week’s 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days recap sees Benjamin Taylor get off cheap with the bride price for Akinyi Obala, but will have to pay interest in the years to come. Plus, Darcey Silva left London without a ring on her finger and a warning not to call for 10 days.

Zied Hakimi so much loves Rebecca Parrott even though she’s married on paper. Plus, Tim Malcolm leaves Colombia without a bang. And Avery Mills gets bad news from her lawyer while Caesar Mack‘s still playing the fool.

Let’s see what went down as 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days draws to a close on TLC.

90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days Recap – Benjamin Taylor Haggles for Akinyi Obala

Benjamin Taylor’s still sweating the bride price talks with Akinyi Obala’s family. He bought OJ in bulk and headed out to haggle. After being told his gift of groceries was a faux pas, he’s literally a puddle on the floor. Especially now that Daddy Obala requested Akinyi Obala join them. This makes Benjamin think there is no deal.

So, Akinyi slides in next to Benjamin Taylor and her dad says she’s there to help him. And that he must prove he wants to marry his Akinyi. On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Benjamin says he really can’t put a value on Akinyi. But he does love her and wants to marry her.

Benjamin claims to have 60 bulls in shillings. If each bull was worth 1000 shillings, how many American dollars does Benjamin have? It’s like a third grade math word problem. While Benjamin Taylor sweats trying to put a price tag on love, brother Fidel smirks at the paltry offer.

Akinyi Obala’s dad says they are a top family in town. And that Akinyi is educated and deserves more. So, he accepts the price, but only as a down payment. Benjamin Taylor’s thrilled he gets a wife but can’t find out the APR or final price. Benjamin’s happy and feeds everyone cake, but Akinyi thinks he should’ve confirmed the debt on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days.

Benjamin Gets a Hand in The Cookie Jar on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days

The next morning, Benjamin and Akinyi wake as husband and wife. Benjamin makes viewers cringe asking if she’s “satisfied”. Akinyi Obala says yes and admits they consummated the marriage. Ben makes some more cringy comments about taking care of the cookie jar.

Then, he asks if she thinks they have chemistry. Hint to Ben: If you have to ask, the answer is probably no. It’s Benjamin’s last night and the two go out for a nice dinner. Ben mentions his siblings are picking him up at the airport. And that they don’t yet know he married Akinyi Obala.

Akinyi switches her order to go. Girl, please. You put this dude through the wringer. If he wanted her to stay, Benjamin Taylor should have ordered Akinyi a margarita. But Benjamin leaves Kenya married but Akinyi Obala sees this as his dirty secret on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days.

Darcey Gets Key To Tom’s House on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days

Darcey Silva went through a lot since she joined the 90 Day Fiance family. Poorly cut steak, sibling rivalry and a lack of Salsa dance skills to name a few. Not to mention a televised break up that ex Jesse Meester traveled across the world to do. Are things looking up for the desperate diva?

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, the clingy Connecticut mom just wants love. And a marriage proposal from Nottingham native Tom Brooks. Darcey and Tom seem better after a disastrous detour to Albania to visit her twin Stacey Silva and now former fiance Florian Sukaj.

Still, Tom is optimistic so he takes Darcey to where Robin Hood wed Maid Marian. He admits he loves her — and accepts her crazy. They sit down to a romantic dinner complete with pink champagne and octopus. That combo must make for delightful breath. 

Tom and Darcey Say Goodbye For Now (Forever?)

Then, Tom fishes a box out and Darcey takes a deep breath. He opens it to show a key to his house. Notice he didn’t give it to her till she was leaving — and the dog sitter probably has the same key.

Then, on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Darcey packs her fake designer duds to leave. She’s disappointed that it wasn’t a ring. But plans to make a necklace out of the key that probably really only unlocks a safe deposit box filled with self-help books and “Salsa Dancing for Dummies”.

The two say goodbye and Darcey again brings up her Amsterdamaged ex. Tom leaves without looking back. Then producers nudge him and he runs back for a passionate kiss. It was a nice moment for the chardonnay-loving lady. But now, stir the rice and hide your Louboutins. Because it looks like Jesse Meester crashes next week on the 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days Tell All.

Zied Hakimi Still Loves So Much So Rebecca Parrott After All

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Rebecca Parrott came to Tunisia like a wrecking ball. She’s dropped endless bombs on her Tunisian boyfriend Zied Hakimi. Zied has taken it all in stride. But the last admission that she’s still married has him shook. And Rebecca’s freaking out.

She says she didn’t expect this scenario. Say what? All he did was have a smoke and blow off some steam. Zied has been dealt so many blows by this woman he’s numb. He says he is “sooo maaach angry” and wants details. She explains that the papers were signed by both parties.

And then pukes while Zied thinks over her latest foolishness. She admits it will be another week after she’s home till it’s all said and done. In the end, Zied says it’s cool. He still loves her. What’s next? Will Rebecca tell Zied at the 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days Tell All she used to be a man and was once a traveling mime?

Angela Deem – Don’t Tell Mama My Only Egg Is Dead

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi kissed and made up after his Instagram gaffe and Ang getting in his friends’ faces. The two prep for their engagement party thrown by Michael’s family. The ladies shove Angela’s Georgia a** into traditional garb.

While our ole girl bitches it ain’t her style, she actually looks nice. Mama Michael helps her cover her fun bags and they join the party. Everyone dances to what sounds like a Nigerian instrumental version of Because I Got High. During a party break, Ang and Mike talk babies with mama.

Even with Michael translating, mommy doesn’t really understand. Especially when Angela touts her beautiful uterus and promises a baby. Don’t hold your breath grandma. Your future daughter in law’s only got one dried up egg in her gorgeous womb on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days.

Tim Malcolm – The Almost-40 Year Old Colombian Virgin

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Tim Malcolm’s time in Colombia is running out. Literally.  While his manicure is still on point, he still hasn’t scored with his GF Jeniffer Tarazona. She has a modeling shoot today. Perhaps not since Paola Mayfield’s Miami shoot on an overturned ice bucket in someone’s backyard have we seen such broad use of the term “model”.

Jeniffer’s dressed in some type of bare midriff polyester track suit and black boots. The look is neither fashion or cool. It’s just bad. Pigeons, gawkers and graffiti are the back drop as she does some sort of jumping moves. Her daughter Violet cries cause her mom looks foolish in the public square. So, Tim calms her by showing her clips of Paola so she doesn’t feel so bad (JK). 

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Tim and Jeniffer spend their last night with margaritas. Jen admits it hasn’t been perfect, but she loves the quirky gun designer and thinks he’s been good to Violet, so she’s still in. Tim is sad to go. He gave her a promise ring, which she sports on her middle finger. Since it was a recycled ring from his ex Veronica. She says he has to replace it.

Jeniffer Falls Asleep Before Tim Does Deed on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days

The next morning, Tim’s got to go. And he’s frustrated because he claims he was finally ready to get down to business and Jeniffer fell asleep. Seriously? Dude you’ve got nothing. You chose eye masks and facials over this woman for two weeks. Shut up about being frustrated.

They head to the airport and Tim keeps up being passive aggressive about her passing out on him. On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Tim and Jeniffer say goodbye. Violet gives him a kiss on the cheek and off he goes. You can bet that this is going nowhere.

Tim should audition for a Real Housewives show. He could surely show the ladies a thing or two about skin care. And Jeniffer needs a new agent. One that doesn’t put her in knock-off FUBU stepping in pigeon poo. Wait to see if these two stick together…

Caesar Mack’s Cuban Delusion – 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days

Clearly, Caesar’s seriously in need of an intervention. After being home two weeks after his humiliating Mexico trip, he’s still sitting around looking at creepy pictures and sending his “girlfriend” money. The producers call him out on his foolery and he sits there with an impish grin and says they are back together.

When he’s never seen her in the flesh. The only thing he’s back together with is Western Union. On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Caesar meets up with his hot and seemingly normal friend Jeremy who kindly tells him that Maria’s using him for money. Caesar says not so.

They’re planning to meet in Cuba. And he’s already saving up for more candy panties. As he had to eat the other ones to survive since he can’t afford groceries despite working seven days a week. I can’t anymore with this one. It’s just sad.

Avery Mills Gets Bad News About Omar Albakkour

On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, newlywed Avery Mills is back in ‘Merica. Her plan is to get hubby Omar to America ASAP. So, she and mom visit an immigration lawyer to get things rolling. Unfortunately, because of the US travel ban, it could take years (if at all) to get him approved. Avery breaks down crying at the news. She suggests she may be moving there temporarily.

Much to mom Teri Mill’s relief, the lawyer says that would hinder any chance at getting Omar into this country. Later, Avery has lunch with family. She says they may have to consider moving to another country such as Dubai or Kuwait. Her younger brother says it’s all depressing. Yes, it certainly is. Her grandma says she couldn’t come see her in another country.

Avery rings up Omar on Face Time. She’s crying and he tells her to stop. Next week, she’ll break the news to him from immigration. We are headed into the home stretch now. Before The 90 Days airs Sunday, October 27 at 8 PM.

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