’90 Day Fiance’: Soulmates, Secrets and Shade on the TLC Tell All

The 90 Day Fiance Tell All Part 1 was much like the season itself. Long, drawn-out, and mostly a yawn. Host Shaun Robinson once again played it safe. Tania Maduro once again reminded the world that Syngin Colchester is NOT her soulmate. And things got heated between Robert Springs and his son’s porno granny.

Angela Deem played it mostly quiet. But, Michael Jessen’s ex-wife Sarah Jessen spilled the tea on their split. And Mike Youngquist and Natalie Mordovtseva played a vague round of he said-she said that amounted to nothing. Emily Larina’s sister Betsy McCue pops in via satellite to call out Sasha Larin. And as usual, Jasmin Lahtinen says nothing.

Let’s trim the fat of this bloated confessional and get to the good stuff. The Tell All part 2 is Monday at 9 PM on TLC.

The 90 Day Fiance Tell All Begins – Get Ready to Hit FF

Everybody rolls up for Tell All time. Anny’s got her red shoes ready. Emily Larina doesn’t like her shoes because she thinks her legs look short. Sasha Larin tells her it’s difficult to be a woman. Especially when you’re married to the fitness police. Michael Jessen is in his signature stiff collared too-snug shirt. And Angela Deem drags on one last ciggy before heaving the burning butt into the mean streets of NYC.

On 90 Day Fiance, Michael Ilesanmi and Natalie Mordovtseva are beamed in vertical screens. Meanwhile, Mursel Mistanoglu has a translator bug in his ear. Tania Maduro is in a walking boot, the result of an injury from a car accident (or Syngin Colchester flinging her out of the she-shed). Michael Youngquist arrives alone but admits he almost didn’t make it – perhaps his alien overlords are involved.

To kick things off, we get a 90 Day Fiance montage of the foreigners arriving in America. Most were eager to get busy in the bedroom. Except Jasmin who wanted a shower, sleep, and a plain chicken breast from room service in that order. We rehash the morning after with Anna Campisi’s kids about the couple being loud. And Angela Deem piped in that she and her 90 Day Fiance Michael did it 38 times.

The Couples Weigh In on Soulmate Gate – Tania Maduro Still Dissing Poor Syngin Colchester

On the 90 Day Fiance Tell All, Shaun went for Tania Maduro and hubby Syngin Colchester first. She’s asked about running off for VooDoo camp and leaving Syngin. Then, Shaun reminds Tania she got ripped on social media for that. So, Tania Maduro puts a spin. But, Robert calls her out for making it 60 Day Fiance. Next, she claps back that he knew Anny for 8 hours while she and Syngin Colchester had nine months.

Then, it’s time for soulmate-gate. We see again where Tania Maduro squashes Syngin Colchester’s spirit on 90 Day Fiance like Angela stubbing out a Marlboro. So, Tania loves to smell his pits but he’s not her lifelong love. Her ex was. Everybody attacks Tania Maduro although Natalie later admits Mike isn’t her soulmate either. Then Tania says she loves Syngin because he’ll let her treat him like that on 90 Day Fiance.

Sister Betsy Throws Shade at Repeat Impregnator Sasha on 90 Day Fiance

Sasha seems lost on the soulmate concept. Then, Emily’s sister Betsy chimes in via the big screen. She calls out Sasha for fat-shaming Emily. But, Emily defends her husband and goes off on a self-hating tangent about her body. Betsy tells Sasha he doesn’t know about nutrition and we get the 90 Day Fiance scene of him disgusted by cold cereal like it’s crap flakes in a box.

ButSasha says he’s an expert on food and fitness and is only trying to help his wife. Then, Betsy says Sasha’s true colors will come out after the green card arrives. There’s a random scene where they herd the couples backstage and then back out. The only action there is Blake Abelard agreeing that if Emily doesn’t like what she sees why not eat better. His foreigner nags him about junk food too on 90 Day Fiance.

Ex Wife Sarah Makes Michael Spill The Tea on Their Split

Things get awkward on the 90 Day Fiance Tell All when Michael’s ex Sarah Jessen joined them on the couch. She snuggled up to second wife Juliana Custodio and they held hands like schoolgirls. Shaun was distracted by the Sister Wives moment but regained focus. She wanted the tea on why Sarah and Mike split. Michael squirms and Sarah says he can answer. But it’s all very vague and stammery.

Finally, Mike confesses to a mid-life crisis and “emotional cheating”. Let’s hope they had the green room cameras off because their kids Max and Cece were offstage. Then they hit the 90 Day Fiance couch too. Mayor Max works the room shaking hands. Turns out he stans Syngin and Tania. Cece is partial to Alien Mike and clenched-jaw Natalie. Juliana admitted she got the scoop on the divorce from BFF Sarah.

Robert Reveals Beef With Bryson’s X-Rated Grandma

It’s Robert Springs’ turn on the 90 Day Fiance season ender. Of course, the Goodwill trip is recalled. Then, Robert claims he was testing her. He says he has money alright, but it’s in the bank. Anny eye rolls letting us know he’s busted. Shaun’s eyes begin to flicker as she says she’s bringing in Bryson’s grandparents on the jumbo-tron. Dirty granny and beard man call Robert fertile Myrtle.

They say if Anny has kids it’ll take away from Bryson. Then some 90 Day Fiance tea spills as Robert mentions threatening text messages. Then, Grandma X and hubby pull the plug and walk out. Robert says they refused them a couch to crash on after his apartment burned. Then, Shaun checks her nails and says: thank you next. Girl. You needed to press on this one… but she lets it go.

Mursel & Anna Make the Headboard Bang on 90 Day Fiance

In a feel-good segment of the Tell All, Anna and Mursel rewatch their journey and everyone cries. It wasn’t easy for the beekeepers. There was the language barrier, bad pizza and a moody teen. But, the biggest hurdle was Mursel’s family. We see Mursel crying about going home  to Turkey to be grounded for life. And little Leo even said Mursel should have done the “manly thing” on 90 Day Fiance.

It ended up good as Mursel manned up and returned and the two married hours from the deadline. They admit they’d need a surrogate to make a baby of their own, but Anna can’t carry one. They also talk about the kids complaining about them banging the headboard getting busy. So… let’s do the math. Anna has eggs but can’t tote – Angela’s eggless but can tote… Let’s make some 90 Day Fiance babies people.

Mike and Natalie Make No Sense

The Tell All for 90 Day Fiance part 1 fizzles out with Mike and Natalie. So, Mike rolls his eyes as Shaun asks Natalie basic questions. Is he your soulmate? No. Do you love him? I don’t know. Do you believe that Mike is really an alien? Da. We hear her friends telling her that Mike is a useless oaf compared to her ex. So, neither seems to know if they’re together and Natalie mutters wide-eyed through her locked jaw.

Shaun finds no reason to dig any deeper – why would a journalist ask questions? Plus, we know Nat and Mike the Alien are filming now in Washington… At the end, there’s some betrayal of Mike’s hinted by Natalie. But that’s a part 2 reveal. We also didn’t hear from Jasmin. And we’ll get to see Angela go off on the goofballs telling them to kiss her trashy classy a**. Part 2 airs Monday February 18 on TLC.

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