90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days dragged us along as Tom Brooks showed up at Darcey Silva’s door to kick her one last time. Plus, it turns out even monkeys like to mess with Big Ed Brown. Ash Naeck flops with the ladies while David Murphey finds out who’s behind door number 8. And Lisa Hamme wins the fight to be Mrs. SojaBoy. Let’s rip off the Band-Aid and feel the sting of season 4 episode 10 Cuts Both Ways. The show airs Sunday nights on TLC.
Tom Brooks Really Wants the Last Word on 90 Day Fiance
On Before The 90 Days, Tom Brooks decides a road trip to Connecticut will give him closure with Darcey. Last time they saw each other, Tom triple dissed her by dumping her, calling her fat, and saying his life’s better with her out of it. Darcey blocked the bumbling Brit, so Tom Brooks penned a letter to capture his last words. Remember, Tom complained she never lets him talk.
So, 90 Day Fiance‘s Tom Brooks cam-chatted all the way to Connecticut about how things might not be done with them. And how Tom still loves Dah-cee. Even though Tom just said he was in love with someone else. And told Darcey she’s chunky. So, Tom Brooks knocks on the door and evil twin Stacey Silva answers. She flips her hair and yells for DARCE. And Darcey saunters down coyly asking “who is it”. TLC wants us to believe she didn’t know camera crews were out there.
Darcey & Doppelganger Mock & Trash Tom on Before the 90 Days
Upon seeing Tom Brooks at her door, Darcey muttered “unbelievable”. Which it really isn’t, considering Tom seems willing to do anything to remain on camera for another 15 minutes. But, just as Darcey wouldn’t let Tom talk in their last encounter, she won’t take his letter either. Notice she didn’t hand over the house key she’d just packed for FedEx, on 90 Day Fiance.
But, Darcey plays hardball and tells him she’s done and it’s too late. So, she tells Tom Brooks she’s returning to her passions — selfies and photoshopping her head onto pics she cuts out of 1990s Vogue magazines. So, Tom Brooks sticks the letter on the windshield and goes. Later, Darcey she tells Stacey to rip it up and toss it in the trash. But we know she fished it out later and grabbed some scotch tape on 90 Day Fiance. Run while you can, Tom Brooks.
Tom is really about to show up at Darcy’s house. I can’t #90DaysFianceBeforeThe90Days
— 𝐵𝓁𝑜𝓃𝒹𝒾𝑒 ♡ ♥ (@BlondieRambles) April 27, 2020
Big Ed’s Got Gifts on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days
Big Ed Brown takes Rose Marie Vega on vacation to get away from her normal life he can’t handle. He’s got a bag full of presents and questions before he proposes. It’s Rose’s first time on a plane and Ed makes sure to get a window seat for her – and a booster seat for himself. You can see Rose is excited. Especially for her first airplane meal: Cup-o-Noodles.They arrive at the beach resort and spa. And, of course, Ed’s a sweaty mess.
Ed’s sweating from more than just the heat on 90 Day Fiance. It seems he has issues with Rose’s breath. So, he gives her a Hello Kitty toothbrush, Listerine, and Crest Halik Fresh Mint toothpaste. He also gave her a bikini and lingerie. Does anything scream ok boomer more than giving your much younger foreign girlfriend a hot pink teddy? Has he kept it around since the 80s just in case? Or even worse, is it a dusty regift?
We see on 90 Day Fiance, Rose is offended about the breath remark and says it’s a stomach ulcer creating oral odor. Not a lack of hygiene. Ed says he cares about her. She says she wants to punch him. Rose trails off with her cache of “gifts” as Ed blurts “I love you!” Her response is “you’re ugly”. Twice. Ed does a happy jig and wonders if she said she loves him back. Meanwhile Rose mumbles “I shaved my legs for this?”
— Angele (@oneandonly87) April 27, 2020
Ed Mugged By Monkeys – Who Gave Him the Banana?
In the morning, Ed starts fresh with Rose by planning an excursion to a monkey sanctuary on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days. Rose seems to have recovered from the dental diss and looks forward to seeing the monkeys. Ed snaps pics of the primates. Suddenly a monkey bum-rushes big Ed and steals a banana he had in his backpack. What a-hole from Sharp production put a banana in his bag on the way to a MONKEY park? Whoever did that needs a raise, clearly.
Rose cannot stop laughing as the monkey’s maul her honey on 90 Day Fiance. Then, Ed arranges a candlelight dinner poolside with an agenda. He needs to know if Rose conspired with her sister to get his money. Rose says no and agrees that they can confront her sister together. He’s relieved and asks about the future. She wants two kids. Ed sweats because he’s keeping secret that he wants to get snipped. As if insulting her breath wasn’t enough birth control.
Then, on 90 Day Fiance, Ed and Rose hit the beach. Ed tumbles off a hammock while trying to drink a large coconut filled with liquor. Like a good father figure, he warns Rose to stick to shallow water and not talk to the other kids. Ed panics and calls his buddy Rich for advice on the vasectomy secret. Of course, Rich tells him to fess up. It’s the right thing. Ed knows this. But, he’s going to wait until after he sees her in the teddy at least once.
Any man with Ed’s audacity needs to take several seats #90DaysFianceBeforeThe90Days
— ig: @berry.interesting (@berry_funny03) April 27, 2020
David’s Disappointment Is Real On 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days
David Murphey has lost seven years, 100 grand, and a tire on mystery girl Lana of the Ukraine. Weary and worn, he makes his last-ditch effort to find the evasive lass he knows only from stock photos and emojis. Door 8 opens and Kramer from Russian Seinfeld spins out, almost knocking him to the ground. Just kidding. It was actually a kind older gentleman, amused that Americans are really that dumb.
He looks at David the way all 90 Day Fiance fans do. With curiosity and pity. David explains via translator app that Lana is his girlfriend and that this is her address. He even cranes to look into the apartment while flashing her picture. The nice man explains that he’s lived in this apartment in this building since before Lana was born. And that no one resembling her is anywhere near here. And he just wants to go in and finish his borscht.
David slumps down the steps and into the darkness with no 90 Day Fiance to comfort him. The soles of his sensible shoes are wearing thin. And he’s down to only two pastel polos left clean in his suitcase. He says it’s enough and he’s going home. But at the airport, David admits if his catfish baits the hook again, he’ll gobble it up like Angela Deem with cake. Next week: David hires a PI to investigate Lana. Maybe the old guy with the mole is David’s catfish. Wait and see…
— Joshua Ingram (@JoshuaJ3ingram) April 27, 2020
Ash Naeck Tanks In Front Of Avery Warner
Ash is a self-employed relationship coach who uses the name “the mind body coach”. Not very original. But we soon learn that originality isn’t one of his strong points. It seems he’s holding a seminar in Melbourne (pronounced Mal-bun) as he corrects Avery Warner. He rented the housekeeping lounge at a hotel and set up a dozen chairs and a pitcher of water from the water fountain in the hall. It’s called “Finding Mr. Right” which he scrawled in Sharpie on a roll of paper.
Avery sits crossed arms in her oatmeal scarf on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days. About eight single ladies attend the conference. Ash is at his best greeting the gals and flirting while Avery stares from the back. Once he starts talking, it’s clear he has no idea where he’s going with any of it. And he blurts out old school sexist things like men want to work. Women take small stuff and make it big because they are emotional. Avery swallows hard in the back as Ash drowns.
One woman grills the 90 Day Fiance “coach”. Ash draws a box on the board and rehashes an old YouTube video about men and boxes in their brains. Then, he wimps out, runs out, and the women giggle. Then, Avery follows him to the hall for a pep talk but it’s too late. So, Ash literally has nothing in his brain box to finish the seminar. Later, they argue and Ash storms away saying he’s tired of it. Meanwhile, the women in the session angrily click for a Groupon refund.
Gives lecture on how women's brains have too much going on….
Proceeds to leave his own lecture because his brain has too much going on…#90DayFiance #90DaysFianceBeforeThe90Days pic.twitter.com/0pETbbRIRz
— Inside Thoughts (@90DayFianceLit) April 27, 2020
Mommy Finally Says Yes To The Wedding on 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days
Lisa Hamme can’t catch a break when it comes to getting SojaBoy’s mommy to give her blessing. She bought her a loveable floppy-eared goat named Barney. And even pretended to be Muslim for a minute. Now that Lisa made the bare minimum effort, she can’t believe they didn’t roll out the red carpet. Could it be that SojaBoy’s slipping his mom bribes to keep saying NO, NO, NO?
The 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days couple makes a last-ditch effort to convince mother Usman to say yes. Lisa grabs a mint-colored table cloth to use as a scarf. Despite Lisa not being accepted, goat Barney seems to be living the good life at the sprawling SojaBoy family compound in Sokoto. Usman details to his mom that he will have more opportunities to be a success in the US. Lisa looks on and says dim one-liners like “nothing will happen”.
Maybe it was being outside too long with the goats — but SojaMom finally says yes. Usman Umar smiles but quakes with fear inside as he realizes the future. Lisa rolls around like a potato bug giggling. Later, she demands a proper proposal while eating fruit from a roadside stand. Usman uses this moment to tell her he will wear the pants in the family. And she can’t boss him anymore. Lisa says she’s not a dog and storms off. Usman — this is why you should listen to your mother.
— Gypsy Belle Travel (@gypsybelletrvl) April 27, 2020
Stephanie Matto Faces Her Fears But Is it Really Sharks on 90 Day Fiance?
Stephanie Matto and Erika Owens seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot. And everything else. Stephanie can’t deal with the colorful Aussie’s free spirit and friends with benefits. They meet at the botanical gardens to hash things out. Erika says she’s tired of having the same old conversation about the same thing every day. Stephanie again explains that she is insecure and jealous and hates fun. (Oh yes, and that she risked her life blah blah blah).
Erika plans some fun Aussie themed activities on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days. And thankfully, they don’t include seminars by a love coach in Mal-bun. Rather they visit a farm where a 77-year-old man teaches Steph how to throw a boomerang. Steph tosses the boomerang and it falls as flat as their relationship. Three times in a row. Steph tells the boomerang coach that they are “special friends”. Because she says he’s old and she’s not sure of his opinions on things.
Last, Erika arranges a day of swimming with sharks in cages. Steph says she is facing all her fears. Which she says are boats, sharks, and open waters. But we know her biggest fear is admitting to Erika that she’s only gay on YouTube for views. Erika wants to take Steph home to meet her parents and come out to them. Stephanie’s not ready to tell her parents – who may have a clue since she’s got videos out there about hooking up with girls. So, yeah, there’s that.
Till next time! Catch Before The 90 Days Sundays on TLC.
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