On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Darcey Silva and twin Stacey Silva meet with a friend to talk about Tom Brooks’ alleged infidelity over day drinking. Plus, Big Ed wants to spoil his new gal, but she makes a cash grab. Also, David finally shows up on the season.
Ash gets no love from Avery, but Lisa offers a mattress lesson to Usman. Plus, see Stephanie pack her suitcase of meds. Time to stay in, relax, and live vicariously through the 90 Day Fiance couples on TLC.
90 Day Fiance: Come on, Darcey Silva, There’s No Crying in The Day Spa
On Before the 90 Days, Darcey Silva, wicked doppelganger Stacey Silva and sidekick Reina hit up a Connecticut day spa dressed in bathing suits and stilettos. It looks like an episode of Real Housewives of 90 Days. They grab booze before chairs then throw around Euro talk. Then, Stacey Silva’s eyes gleam as she shows Reina the pics that Florian sent her of Tom Brooks canoodling with another woman.
90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days icon Darcey Silva claims that the woman in the pictures is a Darcey-lookalike. Umm, no, not really. As a nip slip looms, Darcey brings up Tom coming to New York. And flashes to Jesse Meester’s NYC trip to dump her. Stacey Silva says she has her sister’s back. Yeah, right.
On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Darcey Silva’s crying. And pal Reina tells Darcey to stand up for herself. So, Darcey snots in her mimosa and says she tries, while Stacey Silva smirks. (That was before Stacey saw the video of Florian in bed with another woman). Darcey says she’ll meet Tom. Stacey Silva tells her to go act like the bad b*tch she is. But with all these tears, it’s more like a sad b*tch.
Darcy thinks the blonde photographed with Tom is a “Darcy lookalike”?Really?? That woman looks natural and normal. Meanwhile, Darcy with her fake lips, cheeks, hair, boobs and butt. . . #90DayFiance #90dayfiancebefore90days #tlc
— All In (@AllIin123) March 16, 2020
Rose Splurges On Big Ed’s Dime on Before The 90 Days
Big Ed Brown and Rose Marie arrive at the hotel in Manila, Philippines. While he’s excited he’s got a girlfriend for the first time in 28 years, he wants separate beds until she takes an STD test. Somewhere in a Kentucky Walmart, wearing a surgical mask, Paul Staehle’s saying “hold my hand sanitizer, sir”. Rose agreed says she’s not ready either but doesn’t have pajamas. A mixed message for her little guy.
On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Ed gives Rose a souvenir San Diego t-shirt to wear as PJs. Then, Ed goes to brush his teeth, and when he comes out, Rose is sound “asleep”. Or pretending to be. Next day, Ed orders room service so viewers can cringe at the 50+ male feeding a woman younger than his bio-daughter. It’s just ewww.
Next, Ed and Rose hit the streets of Manila, packed with crowds and heat. Rose picks out a pink pair of jammies and demands Ed fork over his wallet. She grabs cash then tells the vendor – keep the change. This doesn’t fly with Ed, who’s a sweaty ball of angst. He wants AC and his wallet back. Turns out, the “change” was about 10 cents. 90 Day Fiance editing would have you think it was a fortune.
— 90 Day Fckery (@90DayFckery) March 16, 2020
Lisa Orally Schools Usman in The Bedroom
On 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days, Lisa Hamme wakes up happy with her man-rapper SojaBoy of the yahoo variety “celebrity”. Usman Umar gives his cougar a 70% good rating. Which is at least a solid C, unlike Nicole Nafziger’s 55%. Lisa tells producers that cultural differences meant she had to teach him a thing or two about oral sex. Because he didn’t know about it. Sure. And Rose was sound asleep. Okay.
Now it’s time to head to Usman’s stomping grounds of Kaduna – otherwise known as Yahoo-ville. First, they have breakfast with his roomies. Lisa’s rude about the food, and the guys rib her about Usman’s mom. She’s not gonna be down with him marrying a white 50-something. Usman admits that he lied to Lisa because, without mama’s blessing, the nuptials are a hard no on Before the 90 Days.
Then 90 Day Fiance cameras show Lisa’s surprised by Usman’s crib. It doesn’t look like a celebrity home. She’s been watching too much MTV Cribs, maybe. She’s taken aback that all thee men share a bed and the toilet isn’t attached to the floor very well. Usman explains she can take a nice shower with the bucket on the floor. Plus, he shares that Lisa’s controlling and jealous. And this could be a problem.
Lisa is literally on television bragging about not using condoms with a broke down Flavor Flav that’s scamming her for her social security check, and a green card. #90DayFiance #90dayfiancebefore90days pic.twitter.com/pWSp0MVPFB
— Justin Louis (@justinlouis1987) March 16, 2020
David’s Seven Year Itch For Lana on 90 Day Fiance Spinoff
On Before The 90 Days, we finally meet David of Las Vegas. He describes himself as 60 and pretty well off. He plans to retire soon and sell his house to live full time in a luxury RV. Like 90 Day Fiance alumni and fellow Sin City resident Colt Johnson, he also has some cats. But otherwise lives alone and not with his mother. So, that’s a good starter.
David has been talking to Ukrainian Lana for seven years via a paid website. No red flags there. He realized his fondness for Ukrainian women at a young age when he watched the cartoon Rocky and Bullwinkle. A young David was turned on by Natasha’s accent. Along the way, he also developed a passion for unicycles. David meets with friends to tell them he’s finally going to meet Lana.
Seven years and 100 grand later, it’s long overdue. On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, his friend’s wife is also Ukrainian and met her hubby on a similar website but paid for her own chats. Plus, Lana’s fibbed and been a no-show three other times on David. His friends try and write a reality check, but he insists she’s the real deal. Maybe he and Yolanda Leaks can hook up. She’s a sucker for emoji and catfish too.
— Mister H (@OhHungryBoy) March 16, 2020
Stephanie Heads Down Under on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days
Stephanie Matto video chats with her Australian girl crush Erika Owens. We see Erika’s cool hair, piercings, and tats plus a busy social life. Meanwhile, Stephanie’s more of a stay at home and eat cheese gal and wonders if these differences will hurt their chance at romance. Stephanie also admits that she chickened out on telling her parents she’s bisexual. So, Erika’s a little bummed but tries to understand.
In an eerie coincidence, Stephanie heads to the airport on Before the 90 Days looking like the poster child for Coronavirus awareness. Because she suffers reduced immunity due to aplastic anemia, she’s prepared. She fills her suitcase with medicine and dons a mask. She also wonders if her condition will turn off free-spirited Erika. Her friend Heather sees her off and now 90 Day Fiance fans wait. Safe travels, Steph.
Avery Hits Australia and Ash Isn’t Disappointed
On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days, Avery Warner lands in Australia to meet her soulmate, self-made relationship guru Ash Naeck. The two are not lacking in the looks department, but express nerves about seeing each other for the first time. They seem to be happy with what they see. They’ll crash at an AirBnb since Ash lives with his brother, who wasn’t cool with the Seattle single mom sleeping over at their pad.
At the Airbnb, Avery makes it clear there will be no sex that night. So, Ash gives her black roses he bought from the loose-lipped florist. Producers ask if he knows what black roses mean. He says — death. And with his fortune-teller eyes flashing, he says out of darkness comes light and blah blah with a bunch of crazy that has some 90 Day Fiance fans worried he’ll make a skin suit out of her soon.
On Before The 90 Days, Ash also gives Avery leather bracelets that say Ash loves Avery. She says these very bracelets caused their last breakup. Because she was overwhelmed when he put the bracelets on his Instagram. What does that even mean? You’re dating a guy who quotes the voice-over portion of Moody Blues’ Nights in White Satin. Yet, a personalized bracelet pushes you over the edge? Come on.
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