‘sMothered’: Mary & Brittani’s Shared Shower Can’t Wash Away the Cringe

sMothered is back for season 2. The premiere did not disappoint in its level of cringeworthy antics as newbies Mary and Brittani start each day soaping up each other. Returning duo Kathy Crispino and Cristina Bertolli hatch a plan to move in together. Plus, Sunhe crashes Angelica and Jason’s date. And we meet Marcia who enjoys waking up daughter Alana by slurping her face. Let’s break down all the creepy shenanigans of season 2 episode 1 What Mom Wants, Mom Gets.

Mary & Brittani Share a Shower on sMothered – Viewers Feel Grimy

Mary started showing with daughter Brittani when the kid was five. We actually get to see Mary washing Brittani’s hair and scrubbing her back. Brittani is now 19. She says it makes her feel special when her mom Mary sudses her up. When they’re not showering together, Brittani enjoyed a pageant past. So, Mary brags about the hundreds of trophies from child beauty pageants. But Brittani’s pageant hopes fizzled when a missing gene pushed her into puberty at age five.

On sMothered, Brittani says kids bullied her due to her condition. So, her mom Mary became (and still is) her best friend. Things were great between them until Mary met Frank at church. They’re sort-of married. Turns out Mary never filed the marriage certificate because of a bachelor party-internet porn incident. So, Brittani’s no fan of her sorta stepdad although her mom never told her the dirty details.

Presumably, Brittani watches sMothered and knows now. Interestingly, Brittani’s in the police academy and mama Mary’s proud. Frank, though, wants her to take a hike and move out of the nest. Meanwhile, Brittani thinks faux-stepdad Frank should go instead. Of course, Mary’s caught in the middle. However, when TLC calls on Mary to list her priorities, it’s Jesus, Brittani, her two other kids, and Frank last. You can’t make this stuff up.

Smothered: Brittani - Mary

Kathy And Cristina Ambush Carlo At The Gym

Kathy and daughter Cristina are back for season two of sMothered. Mom Kathy heads to Cristina’s house for breakfast while complaining that it’s five whole houses away. Cristina explains that they are going to remodel. Her husband Carlo suggests they rent a place during construction. But, Kathy is having none of it. They will come live with her. Cristina is totally down with it but says her hubby won’t be.

Kathy wants to confront this issue now on sMothered. Even though Cristina tells her Carlo is at the gym — and she usually doesn’t bother him there as it’s his sanctuary. But Kathy doesn’t care. She dresses up in an 80s style workout outfit complete with headband. Even Cristina, who worships her mom, tells her she looks ridiculous. The two show up at the gym. And, of course, Carlo is like WTF are you doing here. And then leaves us hanging till next time.

Marcia & Alana – New To sMothered

Marcia and Alana are new cast members. Mom Marcia likes to wake 21-year-old Alana up by licking her face. It seems that Alana wanted a puppy but they didn’t get one. So, Marcia pretends to be one instead. The two look alike and even sound alike. But mom Marcia reveals she actually adopted Alana from Serbia. There, Alana was in an orphanage when Marcia saw her for the first time.

On sMothered, Alana suffers from an enzyme deficiency and needs transfusions weekly. Marcia and little Alana chase each other in circles around the living room daily. And when Alana catches her, she gives her kissy-poos. Marcia also cooks for Alana and feeds her like a baby. It’s all very uncomfortable, though their story is incredible. Alana also sings and plays a video for producers. She’s talented. It will be interesting to see how their story develops this season.

Sunhe Crashes Angelica’s Date With Jason

In season one of sMothered, Angelica and mom Sunhe shocked viewers by sharing bathwater — but not at the same time. To Sunhe and offspring from Brittani and mother Mary: hold our beers. Angelica desperately wants to start a new life with her boyfriend Jason – who proposed, sorta kinda. It seems Jason needs to finalize his divorce before Angelica will switch the ring he gave her from her right hand to her left. And then there’s also the problem with Sunhe.

Sunhe admits she doesn’t want to share Angelica with anyone much less Jason who she doesn’t trust. She actually uses an app to track Angelica’s location and busts in on their pedicure date. Jason has good news. He’s got divorce docs drawn up and ready to sign. And he and his ex are meeting to take care of it the next day. Angelica wants to be happy. But Sunhe isn’t going to allow that.

Sunhe suggests she go with Jason to meet his ex – and Angelica too. That way, they can make sure the ex doesn’t back out. So, Jason agrees to the terms. Meanwhile, Sunhe secretly hopes they don’t ink the papers. It seems things haven’t changed much with control freak Sunhe. You can catch the all new season of sMothered Sundays at 10 PM on TLC and when you’re done, you might feel like Brittani and Mary – and need to shower off the ick.

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