‘Paradise Hotel’ Recap: Hans Wiener Calls Out Rosanna – Gets Sent Packing

At the Paradise Hotel, it was a long, hard week for Hans Wiener. In the words of host Kristin Cavallari, it’s been all break ups, breakdowns and betrayals. Kyle Rydberg, AKA Big Red, chose Brittany Campbell to bunk with. This left Hans Wiener out in the cold. Rosanna Cecconi and Tyler Berta continued their domination. Jair found out that Tatum Smith played him. So, he wasn’t too happy. Jair has immunity at the checkout ceremony, so the ball certainly is in his court. Let’s break down all the tawdry details in our recap.

Hans Solo at The Paradise Hotel

At the Paradise Hotel, everything spiraled out of control this week. Hans and Brittany fell out almost as quickly as they fell in. This left opportunity for the other guys. Kyle was given the choice to bunk with the lady of his choice. He chose Brittany. That meant Hans was solos again. Brittney admits no feelings for Kyle. But she can’t forgive Hans Wiener for, well being Hans. At least he’s living up to his name. He packs up and moves in with Jair.

Jair really has all the hand in this episode. But will he use it wisely? Honestly, no one should need hand in this hotel. This show is like Temptation Island on ecstasy. I haven’t seen this much grainy footage of people smashing since Jersey Shore. Brittany and Mariaelena Perez are the ones at risk. They chat and Brittany lets slip that Carlos Garcia is just using Marialena to stay in the game. Mariaelena has the feels for Carlos. So, this news certainly upsets her.

Meanwhile at the Paradise Hotel, Rosanna continues her quest for world-wide domination. Whether it’s black jack, pool or sex, she’s number 1. Tatum and the hapless Bobby Ray are sucked into the Tyler/Ro vortex. Tatum played Jair, so they could get him eliminated. But of course, the plan back fired. Two guys will check out for good at the ceremony.

Mariaelena Confronts Carlos

Perhaps no one has had it worse than Mariaelena at the Paradise Hotel. Although Bobby Ray would beg to differ. One gets the sense that Bobby Ray’s mom still lays out his outfits. Carlos, who irritatingly calls himself “Papi Sazon” in between bicep curls, is clearly not into Mariaelena. He’s just biding his time till new girls check in. Mariaelena, who was so full of confidence in the premiere, is now a blithering mess. Girl. Check yourself – don’t let this tool take you down!

Host Kristin Cavallari weighed in on the contestants. Her take on Papi Sazon? Don’t trust him. Come on – he threw Deiondra Sanders right under the bus. Mariaelena confronts the cocky Cuban. Naturally, he tells her she’s crazy and that they are a great connection. Yada, yada yada. They argue at night. Later, she confides to Jair. Meanwhile, Carlos has already gotten to Jair. He asked him to choose Marielena. Then, he will choose Brittany.

Hans Wiener Calls Out Rosanna on Paradise Hotel

On Paradise Hotel, Hans is fed up with Rosanna. In front of everyone, he calls her out as fake. And says everyone is handing the competition to her. Hans basically calls her a snake in the grass. Over-the-top Rosanna responds by screaming. She tells him that his connection with Brittany sucked. Utah boy Hans Wiener says he’s trying to shake things up. And tells Mariaelena that Carlos wants to be with anyone but her.

As Mariaelena cries AGAIN, Carlos confronts Hans. He tells Hans Wiener he wasn’t man enough for Brittany. And that he stands by Mariaelena, So, Carlos tells Jair the plan is off. He will stay with Mariaelena. In perhaps the dullest three minutes ever at the Paradise Hotel, Brittany and Kyle talk. Or rather Brittany whines. She says she’s in a pickle. Kyle has no idea what that means. Then she says she’s always a bridesmaid never a bride. Kyle is again clueless.

Double Elimination on Paradise Hotel

Finally, it’s time for the checkout ceremony. Jair goes first and chooses Brittany. This essentially puts Hans Wiener out. Kyle stupidly picks Mariaelena. Of course, Tyler sticks with Rho. Bobby Ray and Tatum stay together. As do David Barta and Kendall. Carlos chooses Marialelena as well. Hans Wiener chooses Rosanna. Of course she eliminates him right away. Hans says he took a bullet for everyone. And the ever delusional Mariaelena picks Carlos over Kyle. So it’s bye-bye Big Red.

On Paradise Hotel, the Wiener goes out raging at Rosanna. He claims she has nothing but an Instagram page and fake boobs. He calls her the original THOT. Ouch. Kyle goes more quietly and still wants to know what a pickle is. The show goes live after elimination. And Kristin Cavallari reveals a huge twist: Tyler’s ex will be checking in. And says she spent the night with him the night before he left for the show.

Three new ladies are introduced. So, the guys do a little Q&A with them. They choose Kaitlin, a fitness queen. America will weigh in on Twitter to choose between Nicole, a flight attendant, and Jamie, a realtor. Tune in Wednesday to see who got voted in. Till then….

Check back to Soap Dirt for all Paradise Hotel updates and spoilers.