‘Paradise Hotel’ Recap: Carlos Plays and Betrays Deiondra Sanders in Premiere Episode

Paradise Hotel came on hot and heavy with its two hour premiere Thursday night. It was filled with more snacks than a 7-11 and lots of drama in between. Deiondra Sanders, daughter of football legend Deion Sanders, came to play. But did she stay?

The first single to arrive at the luxe hotel is of course named Hans Weiner. Next to arrive is Brittany, a self-described girl next door. Of course till Hans offers up a look at his banana. As in his banana print swim trunks. Brittany replies she didn’t bring any peanut butter. So, grab your sunscreen and umbrella drink things are certainly about to get hot on the Fox reality reboot.

Hans Weiner Arrives at The Paradise Hotel

On this Paradise Hotel recap, we meet the first single contestant to arrive. Hans Weiner. It seems the Brooklyn model isn’t short on confidence as he flips into the pool in his fruity bottoms. Next up is Brittany, who says she’s an around the way girl. With her butterfly tattoos and awesome hair, Hans Weiner is immediately smitten. And the sparks seem to fly both ways. Brittany used to weigh 186 pounds. Now, she is as all toned abs and gorgeous. But her insecurity lingers…

Of course, if you have any insecurity at all this would not be the place for you. One by one, the remaining singles make entrances. Every single stereotype is present. This show has the bases covered. Rich girl Deiondra Sanders says when guys find out who her dad is, they are intrigued — for all the wrong reasons. So girl’s got a guard up. She declares that she’s here to play. But “no one is getting this million dollar p-” (insert bleep of a cat sound). You get it.

Paradise Hotel isn’t just about hot bodies and hook ups after all. A quarter million dollar cash prize is on the line. But you can’t stay in the game without coupling up. The deck is stacked against the ladies. With six ladies and five guys, one unlucky girl will check out tonight. Host Kristin Cavallari breezes in with a bucket of keys. On the keys are each single girl’s face. When they get pulled, they choose a guy to bunk with. Who gets picked last is the unlucky single.

Mariaelena Gets Left Out

Things certainly get interesting quickly on Paradise Hotel. One at a time, names are drawn. Brittany, who clearly wants Weiner, gets beat to the punch. Tatum, whose claim to fame is being a pageant girl, picks Hans. She has thrice been the first runner-up Miss Arizona. Ouch. Deiondra Sanders picks Havana-native and personal trainer Carlos G. She likes that he’s assertive. As it goes on, pairs are made. Finally there was none.

Except for fiery Latina Mariaelena fresh out of the Bronx. As a result, poor Mariaelena is sent to room alone. Also, it’s got a bed the size of a baby crib. The others all cuddle up in king size beds. Turns out Hans Weiner has something to show under the covers. His stuffed animal – a chipmunk named Chippy. Carlos and Deiondra get down to business. No, not that. They form a “secret alliance” — the tried and true mantra of reality TV. Of course, nothing can stop a “secret alliance”. Yeah right.

Two Love Triangles and One Disastrous Date on Paradise Hotel

On Paradise Hotel, our poor little Brittany ended up with Bobby Ray by default. Bobby Ray loves to announce himself in the third person. As in “Bobby Ray’s going to jump in the pool” or ” Bobby Ray likes his chicken spicy”. Oh no, wait, that last one was George Costanza on Seinfeld. Brittany and Bobby Ray have zero chemistry but she agrees to a two-week alliance where they’ll have each other’s backs. Sure they will. (Not).

Mariaelena emerges from solitary confinement. Lovely host Kristin tells her she can go on two dates of her choice. That lets her try to woo a guy from his current bunk mate. Mariaelena’s got this alright. She tells KC she’s stole many a man before. Then, she chooses Bobby Ray who has zero interest in her and is almost rude. You can hear him thinking: “Bobby Ray has a secret alliance. Bobby Ray is going to win!” On Paradise Hotel, Hans and Brittany have a chat. Score is Weiner-1 Alliance-0.

Deiondra Sanders Gets Duped

This Paradise Hotel recap shows someone checking out and a new dude checking in. Dawg Carlos promises Miss D that he’s got her back. Despite a sloppy make-out sesh with Mariaelena, she’s his number one. But, he’s going to tell Mariaelena that too to throw her off course. Deiondra Sanders ACTUALLY gives a confessional about how bad she feels for Mariaelena. Really Deiondra? You don’t see what’s coming? Girl, you are so much smarter than this.

It’s time for elimination AKA the checkout ceremony. There are no roses or tikki torches. No, no the Paradise Hotel don’t play. It’s bye Felicia. Or in this case “bye Deiondra.” Because Carlos got to make the call between the two ladies who chose to stand behind him. And we all know how that went. It seems Brittany dropped Bobby Ray like a hot potato and got her some Oscar Mayer Weiner. Bobby Ray ended up a consolation prize again – for Tatum – who’s certainly accustomed to consolation prizes.

In a bit of reality show gold, the stunning Ms Cavallari tells us we are now live. It’s time to add a new single guy into the mix so the guys will have to sweat now. Three dudes appear with cheesy intros. Jair is a smooth Philly native who likes blondes. Luis is the life of the party. Kyle goes by the name “Big Red”. And promises that the curtain matches the drapes. While the ladies feel Jair, the guys get to pick. And Big Red it is. BUT: America will vote one of the remaining two in via Twitter. So, who will it be?

Tune into Paradise Hotel for all the fun and of course check Soap Dirt for all the scoops.