Extreme Love recap shows WE TV Friday nights is the gift that keeps on giving. A lusty grandma and much younger man redefine “boy toy”. Plus a funnel feeding fiasco with a man who wants his woman fat is uber cringe-worthy.
In the first show, Season 1 Episode 1 “New Additions; Grandmotherly Love”, we meet three unique couples you won’t forget. 31-year-old Kyle and his 91-year-old lover Marge are 50 Shades of Grey gone to extreme.
700 pound Monica and her “feeder” Sid will make you rethink your life choices. And then there’s Dave and Shawna who share their home with 10 dogs and a line-up of creepy sex dolls. Game on!
Kyle and Marge: No One’s Nana is Safe on Extreme Love
Kyle is from Pittsburgh. He tells his buddy that he is hot for his old lady-love Marge who is 91. We witness Kyle and Marge in a serious make out sesh on Extreme Love. There’s a lot of tongue and denture action. Marge must keep Polident in business. Kyle explains that he first fell for an older English teacher in high school.
He’s into wrinkles especially on old lady’s hands. Marge tells us that she likes sex, NASCAR, crochet and drinks. And probably in that order. Her own children are old enough to be his parents. She proudly tells the story of the first time her and Kyle did the deed. She tied him up with her wrinkly granny hands for some 90 something shades of grey action.
Extreme Love recap – Fifty Shades of Gray Hair
The randy couple have decided it’s time for her to meet Kyle’s mom Cecilia. The wonderful British narrator on Extreme Love reminds us that while Kyle’s around, no one’s Nana is safe. It’s time for Marge to spend time with her lover’s mom who’s half her age. After meeting her son’s granny-lover she asks what do they do together? Marge is quick to answer they make movies (nudge nudge wink wink).
Sexy granny whips out a stack of fossilized semi-nudes to show Cecelia. While this is hard enough to process, there’s more. Turns out Kyle has a 68-year-old “side chick”. At the end of the show, we find sadly that Marge has passed away. So please do lock up your Nana. Let’s hope she’s found her boy toy in the sky.
Basement Secrets on Extreme Love
The next couple we meet in the strange world of Extreme Love is Dave and Shawna. The scene opens with a nice house with 10 sweet dogs lounging around. Shawna wasn’t allowed pets growing up so she’s taken rescuing dogs to the extreme. When she met Dave, she explained that her and the dogs are a package deal. This was fine by Dave as he came with some baggage too.
After a date, he decided to take her down to the basement to let her in on a secret. Be afraid – be very afraid, Shawna. But then Shawna followed Dave to the basement where there were multiple sex dolls hanging on meat hooks. Yes meat hooks. And these aren’t your corner porn shop garden-variety blow up dolls. These are expensive, freaky looking, life-like dolls with “a range of features”.
A Harem of Latex Lady Lovers…
His dolls have names such as Bianca, Adele and Amaya. And one perpetually has a red bandana tied around her mouth and nose. How Shawna didn’t run out screaming and thrashing is beyond me. But no. She is into it. She considers it a fair deal since she has 10 Labradoodles. Multiple designer dogs are nowhere near the level of sex dolls on meat hooks.
Dave proudly states he has collected and made love to the dolls for a decade. We see him contorting the dolls spread eagle and retying the gag on the one’s mouth. Apparently one of the dolls was in the movie Lars and the Real Girl with Ryan Gosling. I can’t help but worry for the dogs on Extreme Love.
— Lady Kitsune239 (@ladyvixenivy) December 29, 2018
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner on Extreme Love?
Shawna invited her children to dinner at the house she shares with Dave, dogs and a bevy of plastic vaginas with removable heads. Dave insists that Bianca of Lars and The Real Girl fame be seated at the dinner table. Shawna’s son-in law is creeped out (we feel you). He really doesn’t care to break bread with something that could be harboring a stray Ryan Gosling pube.
Dave is offended by anyone dissing Bianca on Extreme Love. The impossible happens next as things get even weirder than a diddle doll at dinner. It seems Dave’s arthritic knees are giving out after years of pounding plastic poon. With Dave’s performance issues, Shawna needs some functional D, so she orders her own sex doll named Terry.
Pick Your Penis Doll
She named him after an unattainable crush from her youth. This is her second prosthetic peen with that name. But OG Terry was too heavy to lift so Shawna did what any savvy online shopper would do and exchanged him for Terry 2.0. The new Terry has three interchangeable penises. But Shawna thought he looked a little feminine though. So she rang up her son-in-law to help “butch him up”.
Next, they choose a flannel shirt and bucket hat to make Terry 2.0 more of a manly man. Meanwhile, Dave takes Bianca to a physical therapy appointment. We wrap with this couple after a threesome with Terry 2.0. Dave now needs a hip replacement. Wonder if Bianca will go with him to file for disability on Extreme Love.
Oh lord the sex doll is spread eagle on camera! Lmmfao #extremelove
— ResistandStayWoke (@ResistStayWoke) December 29, 2018
Monica’s 700 Pound Life on Extreme Love
Our last couple this week on Extreme Love are Monica and Sid. Monica is 700 pounds and climbing thanks to her partner and “feeder” (yes that’s a real thing) Sid. Monica’s goal is to weigh 1000 pounds and be immobile. Sid tells us he’s always been into fat girls as he prepares Monica a “weight gain shake”. The concoction which he will literally funnel down her throat consists of a Sam’s Club pallet of Pop Tarts and anything else not tied down in the house.
After the shake is funneled down her throat by Sid, she gets all turned on. Then she unleashes her belly onto the coffee table and Sid rubs it. Monica claims she can reach the big O through her belly button. She also has men (other so-called feeders) who send her food and money in exchange for video of her consuming the food. Not a bad gig if you can get it.
Happy Ending and a Healthier Future
She tells her mom of her half-ton goal weight. Her mom cries while Sid lurks in the background with three pounds of tuna casserole and a giant spoon. Things take a sad but hopeful turn on Extreme Love. Monica is pregnant! She reveals she’s miscarried two earlier pregnancies. They have a scary visit to the OB-GYN where they don’t have a table big enough to accommodate her.
She lies on the floor while the doctor desperately tries to find the baby’s heartbeat. So at the end, there’s an update that says Monica gave birth to beautiful baby Michelle. Sid is on board for them all to get healthy. He’s now a different kind of feeder: one with a bottle of formula for the baby. Monica is down to 465. It’s a happy and healthy ending for these two.
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**This recap is the bone-tickling work of Natalie Smiley, guest blogger, and does not reflect Soap Dirt’s opinion – but we find it incredibly funny!