The Catfish Season 7 recap starts with the reminder that Nev Schulman will try out a bevy of co-hosts this season to see who can best fill silver fox Max Joseph‘s mini-cam-holding shoes. The new season began with the first guest host as Jane Carrey, daughter of comedian and actor Jim Carrey.
Jane Carrey boasts an impressive resume all her own including rock star and mom. She even made it through to the Hollywood round on ‘American Idol’ in 2012. Let’s see how she fares helping Nev to catch tonight’s catfish as a replacement for fan-favorite Max Joseph!
Catfish Recap – Nev Schulman and Jane Carrey Face a Mystery
MTV’s Catfish returns for the second half of Season 7 with Episode 19 ‘Mike and Joey’. Nev Schulman and co-host of the week Jane Carrey read an e-mail from Mike, a 19-year-old from East Hartford, Connecticut. He recently made a move to California to chase his dream of being a trophy husband.
Mike is currently in San Diego living as someone’s anonymous “sugar baby”. He lives rent-free and spends his days eating sushi and tanning. However, before Mike relocated to Cali to live out his dream of endless sun and trendy raw fish he struck up a romance online with an edgy good looking mechanic named Joey .
He met Joey on Grindr and they went from strangers to bff’s in no time flat. For five months they’ve shared texts, pics (more on that later) and talked on the phone for hours.
Shirtless in San Diego
On MTV’s Catfish, Nev, Jane and Mike video chat. Mike has an aversion to clothing so he appears shirtless and extremely tan on the cam. He is wildly full of himself and not ashamed of his sugar baby lifestyle. Whoever he’s living with now demands nothing of him except that he look hot. Mike denies any romantic involvement with his current sugar daddy.
Nev Schulman gets him a train ticket to LA and a rented pad so they can get to the bottom of his Connecticut crush. Mike admits they’ve never met and the one time they video chatted the room was black. Mystery man Joey also cancelled a trip to Cali to visit at the last minute. Typical of what fans of MTV’s Catfish see on every episode.
— Catfish (@CatfishMTV) November 29, 2018
Mike on Catfish: The TV Show- I used To Laugh At It Back In the Day
Mike has arrived in So Cal and is over joyed that his rented crib has a pool where he can lay out in bright colored briefs. He shuns sunscreen adding that you “don’t put a table cloth over a painting”. Nev Schulman sees through his carefully concocted character. He feels Mike is young and probably struggled being a young gay male in Connecticut. He feels he created this so-cal sugar baby sushi-eating persona from watching TV.
Speaking of watching TV Nev asks what he thinks of Catfish: The TV Show. Mike responds that he used to laugh at it “back in the day”. Being he is only 19 I’m guessing back in the day was when he was 12?
Catfish The TV Show-The Mystery Of The Grey Sweatpants
— Catfish (@CatfishMTV) November 29, 2018
With Mike safely by the pool at his rented house, Nev and Jane Carrey get down to business. Mike has provided them with all the info he has on the shady Connecticut mechanic named Joey. He’s got his cell number, a few pics and a Facebook page. Nev from MTV’s Catfish begins the sleuth fest by searching the cell number. It comes up as a bandwidth number which is internet based. Red flag number 1. Next up is to reverse image search a few of the pictures Joey sent. Image search is a Nev Schulman favorite when getting to the bottom of web deception.
A few pics are facial shots of Joey. He’s a good looking edgy dude with ear gauges piercings and tats. Neither yield any results. The next pic is of a close up of a dude’s grey sweatpants with a large bulge underneath. Jane Carrey says it doesn’t even look attached. The image search brings up several results on the bulge pic. It’s even on Pinterest. So it’s not Joey but rather as Nev calls it “an internet secured dick pic”.
Fake Facebook Page on Catfish: The TV Show
Next up in the order of catching a catfish is the most valuable tool : Facebook. Season after Season of playing internet detective have given Nev a special insight into the ways of fakes. Red flags include not a lot of friends, a ridiculous amount of friends or in Joey’s case not many friends around where he lives. Upon further inspection Nev sees a post from a woman named Desiray who speaks about him helping her with a car battery. This seems legit as Joey is a mechanic.
Catfish host, Nev Schulman, messages Desiray who is quick to call back, agree to face time and vouch that Joey is the real deal, piercings and all. She claims he jump started her car at Starbucks and they occasionally hang out. He even talks a lot about his Grindr soul mate Mike. Again, Nev smells the proverbial rat in Desiray’s pat corroboration.
I Watch The Real Housewives of Everything
The duo return to Mike’s house to reveal what they found. Mike is sunning by the pool in tighty whities ( except they are orange). He now resembles the spawn of tan mom. They begin bursting his bubble by revealing the grey sweatpants bulge shot was on Pinterest and not authentic hunky Connecticut mechanic junk. Mike thinks this is unfair because he sent a full on nude to this dude. But he’s quick to clarify it was from the back. At this point he should be more worried that his internet lover steals dic picks from Pinterest.
— Julie (@bluelineicing) November 29, 2018
It’s time to discuss the other red flags including the suspicious convo with Desiray. Mike is hopeful but understands the risks. Jane Carrey calls him out on on his crafted persona. She thinks he really wants to follow his heart and not just exist as a sugar baby. Mike’s response is that he will be ok either way. He’s got till he’s 29 to live off his hotness. He also says he watches “The Real Housewives of Everything” and has studied the good life for years. Jane points out that’s not always a good depiction of real life. That is unless real life consists of day drinking Prosecco and getting enough plastic surgery to melt near fires.
Nev Schulman’s had enough of the second guessing and suggest they take the obligatory flight to the Catfish’s hometown. The trio place calls to Joey that go unanswered. Mike admits he’s not responding to messages either.
MTV’s Catfish: This is a Reality Show Not a Horror Show
In Connecticut Joey is MIA and responding to nothing. Nev Calls Desiray who says she’s not sure what’s going on. After a quick change of tune she tells them to meet her at an address on the lake because it’s all too complicated.
Arriving at a lovely house on the lake Nev as always approaches the front door alone. Horror movie suspense music plays as Nev peers into an empty house. Outside Mike is all like I could live here! I could sit on the deck in my underwear! Even if it does end up to be a serial killer this place is awesome!
As the dejected group think about plan b the garage starts to open. When “Joey” is revealed Mike jumps back and says ewwww WTF! He obviously knows this dude and it’s not a hot mechanic with tats. It’s actually his ex best friend. Mike doesn’t even want to look at this dude and says “this is a reality show not a horror show”. Wait, it’s not?
— Catfish (@CatfishMTV) November 29, 2018
Cheeto Dust and Drama
“Joey”, who’s real name is Mikey looks like Eminem and Martha Plimpton had a son. His only resemblance to his Facebook alias Joey are his ear gauges and use of good hair gel. Apparently Mike and Mikey were bff’s as are their moms. Things went awry in the winter when Mikey walked in on Mike doing the deed with his boyfriend. Mike denies this and says the bf groped him at a party end of story.
The two estranged buds start verbally trashing each other. Mike says Mikey is sad, ugly, old and disgusting. Mikey says he looks like he’s covered in Cheeto dust and acts like a carton character. Mikey-1 Mike-0.
Nev wants the two to take a breather and save the insults for now. They all sit for a discussion and Mikey reveals he’s missed Mike’s friendship and that’s partly why he carried on the Joey ruse so long. He can forgive Mike’s indiscretion with his bf, but won’t forget. Mike, who has no self awareness that he really is a Cheeto dusted cartoon character with no grasp of reality doesn’t get it. Not even when Nev Schulman calls him out on his ridiculousness.
Life is Short, Bathing Suits Should be Shorter
We end this episode of Catfish: The TV Show with the obligatory two month follow up phone call. Mike answers the video chat in all his shirtless tan glory sipping blue Powerade out of a wine glass. He’s still living his sugar baby best life, but admits on a trip home he and Mikey mended their friendship. He signs off with the words ” Life is short, bathing suits should be shorter.”
Mikey answers fully clothed and sans an energy drink in stem ware. His life is good and he’s moved on. He reiterates that the dramatic duo have reconciled their friendship. Be sure to tune in to Catfish next Wednesday on MTV for a new guest host and more catfish!
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