90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days was mostly goodbyes this week. David Murphey is running out of time in Ukraine. So, he’s grunting and eager for some lovin’ from Lana. Plus, Stephanie Matto and Big Ed Browngo home lonely while Avery Warner also packs her bags. Lisa Hamme browbeats Usman Umar into proposing then stomps his manhood some more. Grab some fresh grapefruit juice and hide your rabbits for season 4 episode 14 Hard Habit To Break.
90 Day Fiance: David Murphey Gets a Strike Then Strikes Out With Lana
On Before The 90 Days, David Murphey uses a translator app and asks about the fake address. Lana says it’s not safe to give a real address – which David clearly proved by stalking her. In an interview, producers ask how much money David sent her. Lana asks to skip that question (of course). David admits he hired a PI to look for her. Then, Lana skitters away.
But, she agrees to a second date and David’s got the perfect plan to trick his 90 Day Fiance into kissing him. It seems David Murphey was a professional bowler a decade before Lana was born. So, he bets her a strike for a smooch. Then, he gets a spare and a gutter. He leans in for the kiss and Lana stiffens up and turns her cheek. Mmmmm…
Then, Lana tells 90 Day Fiance producers she needs more time before getting cuddly. At dinner, she orders grapefruit juice and rabbit. David Murphey’s taken aback that she eats bunnies but still invites her back to his hotel. Lana’s not having it and David Murphey does more hugging and mmmm. Look for more awkwardness with David Murphey next week.
Lisa Hamme’s in the Toilet But Has More Sins to Wash Away
It’s the day before the big fat Nigerian wedding of Usman Umar and Lisa Hamme on 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days. But there’s just one glitch. BGL doesn’t have a ring on it yet — and she’s not happy. She tells Usman people might think she’s knocked up. (Literally, no one would assume that, right?) Or he’s using her for a green card. (That sounds more like it.)
Finally, after more verbal abuse, Usman proposes like he’s seen it done in the movies. Because nothing’s more romantic than your bossy American bae forcing you to put a ring on it. Later on 90 Day Fiance, Usman is excited that family is starting to arrive. His brother Faruq meets Lisa for the first time and looks like he’s seen a ghost. He says she “looks old”.
Mother Usman wants to get her prayer on, so they head to the hotel room. Usman tells Lisa to follow his mom into the bathroom for the ablution. Could this toilet foot-washing explain why Lisa had to have a toe chopped off when she got back to PA? Later, Lisa raspily chops off Usman’s manhood in front of the males in his family. When his brothers defend Usman, the 90 Day Fiance darling she storms off saying she’s done. If only.
Avery Heads Home With Questions after 90 Day Fiance
Avery Warner’s heading back to the United States on Before The 90 Days. Ash Naeck didn’t propose after they decided that he should wait till his son Taj is a little older. Avery’s sad to leave and wants to know when Ash can come visit. He tells her that she is not a short term project like his Finding Mr. Right seminars. He says he needs to get an Australian passport.
And that can take three months or maybe even six months — or no wait maybe it’s a year. So, Ash takes her to the airport and they have a tearful goodbye. Avery says she has a lot of love for Ash and the sadness will hit her once she’s on the plane. Ash cries and tells producers he will miss his 90 Day Fiance (not fiance).
He says getting the Australian passport will be his priority. We fade out with a sad Avery on the plane staring down at the Australian landscape. Hopefully she’s got a nice cannabis casserole waiting for her at home. So, no ring on it – another 90 Day Fiance duo bites the dust.
Stephanie And Erika Are Officially Over – Were They Ever Under?
90 Day Fiance reject Stephanie Matto heads back to ‘Merica where she left her fun-loving sexy side that Erik Owens fell in love with online. What Erika ordered and what actually arrived were two very different things. On YouTube, Steph was fond of flaunting her cleavage and dishing on sex. But IRL, she’s done nothing but judge Erika and shame her. All the while stressing that her mom doesn’t know she’s bi-sexual. Probably because she’s really not.
Steph says she’s officially done with Erika on Before the 90 Days. They even scrubbed each other off of all social media. But she’s still hoping Erika might show up at the airport. Why would she? So Steph can ask her if she ever shagged anyone currently at baggage claim? In one last-ditch bid for attention, Steph tries to force out a few tears over the end of the “relationship”. But not a single tear materializes. So, she slings her bag at the agent and asks for a mask.
Steph’s mom picks her up at the airport as the 90 Day Fiance cameras follow. This woman is beyond a helicopter parent. She’s a damn drone. Steph acts coy and says that she had fun. But there was one night she didn’t have fun. She tells her mom that Erika was disappointed in the real-life version of herself. Her mom looks suspicious. The convo moves on to the fact that Steph dived with sharks. Mom can rest assured that was the only diving that took place down under.
— Risa (@RisaButtercup) May 25, 2020
Darcey Wants A Fresh Start (Again) – So When’s Her Next 90 Day Fiance Season?
On Before The 90 Days, the Silva twins make a trip to the cemetery to visit the grave of their older brother Michael Silva who died young from rare cancer. On the way, Darcey declares she’s cover Tom Brooks and is happy. She’s ready to get rid of negative energy. Stacey blathers about manifesting good things.
Then, they name drop Jags and Maseratis on 90 Day Fiance – can they even afford pricey whips? Maybe Darcey needs to sign up for an online seminar with a skilled Aussie relationship coach she saw on TV. Stacey says the twins are fighters and not just with each other. The twins pay tribute to their brother with sunflowers. He was their protector and they miss him.
That tribute gets weird when they drag Tom into it. The identical twins (not so identical thanks to varying degrees of Botox) say they’re committed to their kids and family first blah blah. In scenes from next week it looks like Tom Brooks creeps back like an annoying case of toenail fungus. Even though Darcey claims she blocked him. Wait to see what the 90 Day Fiance cat drags in.
— Moneybagg Joe (@miss_JKB) May 25, 2020
Big Ed Heads Home to Mama On Before The 90 Days
Ed Brown returns home defeated with no 90 Day Fiance. He says he feels like a failure. His mom and dog Teddy wait for him at the airport. Teddy is super excited to see Ed and showers him with doggy kisses. Let’s hope the pup’s got fresh breath or Ed might shame him too. Ed’s mom asks about Rose and he admits she’s out of the picture.
Ed says he wasn’t ready to be a father to Prince and that Rose wanted two more kids. On 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days, Ed is glad to be back in the US, but hates being single. He wonders if maybe Rose will talk to him again. Now, Ed says he’ ll focus on rebuilding the relationship with his daughter.
Big Ed is probably better off putting Rose in the past. After all he can now live in air-con bliss and get all the haliks he wants from his furbaby. Watch Sunday nights at 8 on TLC. Tune in next time to see if David Murphey gets Lana to accept his CZ and thaw out a little. Til then!
And as always Soap Dirt has the scoop on all things 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days