’90 Day Fiance:’ Colt Tries to Get Laid – Larissa Misses His Peen

90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After offered up a little bit of everything including Colt Johnson 2.0. It seems the Vegas mama’s boy is ready to put it out there again with another Brazilian lady. Andrei enjoys Mr. Mom duties while wife Elizabeth brings home the bacon. Asuelu struggles with the responsibilities of marriage and children with Kalani. Angela loses it over a ringtone and Larissa cleans poo and fights to stay in America. Let’s get into season 5 episode 1 What Goes Around Comes Around. You can watch Sunday nights at 8 PM on TLC.

Colt Johnson Works Out and Steps Out With A New Girl on 90 Day Fiance

Colt Johnson curls dumbbells in the garage and says he’s working on an all new Coltee. After divorcing Larissa Dos Santos Lima, he’s ready to get back in the dating pool. This doesn’t sit well with his best friend and mother Debbie Johnson. She’s still reeling from all the shrapnel she caught as the third wheel in Colt and Larissa’s doomed marriage. Colt Johnson, has a secret though. He’s already dating another Brazilian named Jess Caroline.

90 Day Fiance: Colt Johnson - Happily Ever After

Colt Johnson says the redhead au pair from Chicago reached out to him first. And Colt met up with her when she vacationed in Vegas. Now Colt Jobnson’s venturing to Chicago for the weekend to hang out with her. Mother Deb has her suspicions but off he goes. She’s worried Colt will make bad decisions about women. Deb doesn’t want another wanna be queen attempting to steal her throne. Colt Johnson has other ideas though on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After.

Jess arrives to meet Colt in a Chi town bar. They are both admitted crazy cat people. And Jess even has one of her cats inked on her shoulder. They engage in some cringey flirting and Colt Johnson comes right out and says “can we go back to my room now and have sex?” The feline tattoo must have gotten him extra horny. Jess chugs her beer and says yes. And Colt Johnson says he “can’t wait to get laid”. On the way, Colt tells her that he’s keeping her a secret for now. Will Colt Johnson still get some?

Larissa Is On Dirty John Duty

Meanwhile Colt Johnson’s ex Larissa is busy finishing up her community service which involves cleaning bathrooms. Colt had a fondness for calling the LVPD on his former wife who he first described as his “dream girl”. That dream quickly turned into a nightmare. Now, Larissa squeals and sprays Lysol on toilets saying she’s sensitive to pee and poopie on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After.

Larissa has also undergone several cosmetic procedures that would make the Silva twins proud. She meets up with friends at a pool date. She has broken up with her Colt-rebound Eric Nichols and actually misses her ex because he complimented her and always wanted to make sexee. He did, however, cut off her affidavit of support, so her green card is in jeopardy. Her friend. who has a baker’s dozen of engagements behind her, advises her to get a sugar daddy.

Later on 90 Day Fiance, she calls her dad because she has no money. Her parents take care of Larissa’s daughter back in Brazil. Larissa asks if she should just throw in the towel and return home. He advises her to stay and work on her green card dream which mostly consists of endless plastic surgeries. She asks for 5k and dad tells her he’ll send half the cash right away. Scenes from next week show her having complications after a boob job while Ericee paces and worries.

90 Day Fiance: Larissa Dos Santos Lima - Happily Ever After

Andrei Terrorizes Family With Moldovan Wedding Plans on 90 Day Fiance

Andrei Castravet seems to have given up on his handyman dreams in order to be a “home-stay dad” to baby Eleanor. Meanwhile, wife Libby Potthast continues as the breadwinner working full time with her dad Chuck Potthast. It’s been three years, but there still is tension between Libby’s fam and her moody Moldovan hubby. They get ready to celebrate Papa Potthast’s birthday with a party at his place.

Elizabeth’s sisters and sister-in-law swill champagne out of red solo cups and b*tch about Andrei and Libby being late going so far as to proclaim “they suck”. The Wonderbread version of the Kardashians just can’t accept Andrei. Finally, Andrei and Libby arrive, and it’s like walking into a lion’s den. Andrei, who clearly hasn’t learned how to read a room, decides he’ll give a toast on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After.

After a blip about Chuck’s birthday, he blabs on about a big fat Moldovan wedding that he’s planning in a month and everybody’s invited. One by one, their heads start exploding and they scream about babies and shots and danger. How dare he expect them to leave their bubble of air-headed superiority and catered lunch? Libby is angry and this sets up another fight. Because Andrei says her dad needs to cough up the cash for the wedding. Yep. That will go over real well.

Angela Gets Her Period Back and Flips Out About a Ringtone

Angela Deem can now check off twerking on her bucket list. But not booty pops just yet. Our favorite 90 Day Fiance mouth of the South is taking a dance class with daughter Skyla Deem. Angie’s plate is pretty full these days taking care of six grandkids, her ailing mother and trying to manage getting Michael Ilesanmi to the good ole US of A. She’s also promised her Nigerian fiance a baby come hell or high water and has miraculously got her period back after two years.

She’s thinking about just going ahead and getting hitched in Nigeria since Michael’s K-1 visa is still up in the air. Skyla doesn’t think it’s a good idea at all. And she thinks mama needs to get with her lawyer again and get her ducks in a row before she marries him. Angie has already asked Skyla to fork over one of her eggs so she can tote it to provide Michael with offspring. Now she asks her to come to Nigeria and bear witness to their wedding.

On Happily Ever After, it’s a no from Skyla. Angela calls her a witch. And Skyla says she’ll reconsider if mama talks to an attorney. Later, Angie face times with Mah-kull and hears a strange ringtone from his other phone. She flips out and swears it’s got to be the secret ringtone for booty calls and BJ’s. Michael says its a generic ringtone from his mechanic. So it seems that things haven’t changed much for these two crazy  90 Day Fiance kids.

Asuelu Loses His Man Card on 90 Day Fiance

Asuelu Pulaa is happily handing out fro-yo samples to crabby old women in a Utah store. Wife Kalani picks him up with their two sons in tow. When they get home, Asuelu strangely just leaves Kalani to grab both kids and get them in the house. Kalani complains that having two kids in two years is the hardest thing she’s ever done. And Asuelu isn’t actually pulling his weight. Her parents have even moved in to help.

Kalani tries to explain to him that she needs more from him on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After. Not only as a dad but as a husband. Asuelu explains that in Samoa, the moms have it easy by staying to stay home with the kids. She supports him going out to play volleyball and make friends but she’s struggling. Asuelu sits expressionless. He seems to have lost his mojo and isn’t enjoying losing his spot as man of the house since the in-laws moved in.

Later, he helps Kalani’s dad Low clean up apples in the yard. Her dad basically tells him that he’s not stepping up. And he needs to stay home after work with Kalani and the kids. He basically tells him you’re not in Samoa anymore. Asuelu chews on an apple and looks pretty defeated. Will Kalani really give him the boot as it seems in the season previews? You can watch 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After Sundays on TLC to see if Colt Johnson gets some or not.

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