’90 Day Fiance’: Colt Calls Queen Larissa B*tch – Leida Drop Kicks Tasha – Season 6 Episode 8 ‘No Way Out’ Recap

In this 90 Day Fiance recap, Queen Larissa Christina defends herself, since Colt Johnson won’t man up. Entitled woman-child brat Leida Margaretha kicks Tasha Rosenbrook to the curb. Fernanda Flores tries to help Jonathan Rivera address his mommy issues. And Olga Koshimbetova’s BFF Anna lets Steven Frend know he needs to do better. Let’s dive in and see who came out on top on the Season 6 Episode 8 ‘No Way Out’ recap of TLC’s hot mess love fest.

90 Day Fiance Recap – Larissa Christina Says Stress to the Dress

Debbie Johnson cruises the strip in the stifling heat with Larissa Christina hot and bothered on 90 Day Fiance. Colt Johnson suggested his mother-wife accompany his sweaty but sultry fiancee to shop for a wedding dress and keep the joint finances under control. This can’t miss, right?

In an aside, Larissa says her dream dress will have a long train and be “spark-ul-eeee” and “merrrmay-deee”. After all a dream has no price right? Unless Debbie is involved… Mama D seems to want a WalMart clearance rack dress. After all, Debbie and Coltee are saving for their golden years so they can cuddle and eat beef stew by the glow of the slot machine at night.

Colt Wants Larissa in Something “Nasty”

In the best type of surprise that 90 Day Fiance has to offer, Lea, wife of Colt’s bearded cousin John, joins the dress shopping party. Later, Larissa informs the sales people that while Colt Johnson prefers her to dress nasty, she would like something more traditional. She would like to look “classiickeee” and “pureeeee”. Is she a bride or a canned tomato product?

The first dress is innocent and conservative. Larissa says she feels like pure like an “angel”. That’s not what Colt wants though. He brought a bootylicious Brazilian all the way from South America. Of course, viewers know Colt has a bigee sex drivee, so he wants to see some skin at the wedding damn it! She needs a nasty bridal number to keep Colt happy.

Mama Debbie Plays The Green Card

The second dress is a much sexier look for the toothy Brazilian on 90 Day Fiance. Debbie’s jealousy roars into overdrive at the sight of Larissa sashaying around like a poor man’s Charo. To end the agony, Deb asks the price. It’s $2,400 dollars, more than double the budget Colt set. Debbie squashes Larissa’s happiness like she would a stink bug on their hot dashboard.

Mother-wife Debbie can’t resist making things even more miserable. She points out that in America, the bride’s family pays for the wedding. And Colt’s got to pay for her green card so the dress is just a bunch of frivolous nonsense. Larissa makes a face like Cookie Dokie s*it in her cornflakes. Could things get worse for Larissa? Yes… Yes, they can. Keep reading.

Burgers and B*tches – Worst Barbecue Ever on 90 Day Fiance

Debbie angrily pounds raw meat into hamburger patties on 90 Day Fiance. Colt invited his Vegas micro-family of cousin John, wife Lea (and offspring) over to cook out. The fam gathers on a 5×5 concrete slab. While Colt heats his meat, beardy cousin grills Larissa. John is in his Friendly’s shirt again – is this unfortunate product placement or does he have no other shirt?

As he chugs beer, we look for the shadow of a TLC crew member tapping the keg to keep his mug topped up. During the filming his giant 24 ounce beer stein gets drained and then refilled at least three times. Looks like he’s tossed back over a six pack.

Good Christian John (see bumper sticker above), goes postal on Larissa. He tells her with that rock on her finger she should feel like a queen. Then he accuses her of kicking Aunt Debbie like yesterday’s stray cat.

Queen Larissa Issues Death Decree

Larissa claims Debbie is not “the saint that you paint”. The hops-fueled cousin says mama Deb can come live with them. He says she’s a blessing, not a burden. You can see the fear in Lea’s eyes as her a-hole of a husband pops off. Meanwhile, Larissa’s wondering if they have moving boxes and duct tape in the garage. John might be a secret genius!

Things escalate on 90 Day Fiance as John full-on verbally abuses Larissa, calling her a B**** then upgrades to f-ing B****. He says she takes “advantage”. Larissa laughs in his face. She reminds him there is nothing to take. Beater car, tiny house, 87 cats, Larissa claps back saying she uses Coltee’s body. #TeamLarissa on this one for sure.

John is wound up like a drunk Doberman barking obscenities and raging. Colt sits mute. As does mama Debbie but you can imagine in her mind she’s shaking pompoms chanting 1-2-3-4, go on John, scream some more! After pounding more than a few beers, at least he has enough since to let his wife drive home.

Larissa has enough. She runs up the steps screaming “Who is against the queen will die”. It’s the stuff memes are made of and for that, we thank her royal highness.

Disengaged in Vegas

Colt Johnson is all cankles and sadness on 90 Day Fiance. Larissa slinks in wearing a skirt that barely covers her lady parts and accuses Debbie of poisoning everyone against her. Much like Larissa told producers last episode, Deb appears like a cat out of nowhere. Mama claims John’s rage fit has nothing to do with her. Colt actually has the nerve to call Larissa rude.

Debbie slams a door setting off Larissa. Deb retaliates with another door slam and screams “I’m done”! Larissa threatens to call 5-0 on mother-wife if she touches her. Colt (surprising no one) takes his mama’s side. He also calls Larissa a B*tch because of the way she defended herself when beer guzzling John called her a B*tch.

His fiancee throws her ring to the floor and tells Coltee f-k you. The Queen has spoken. Long may she reign.

Leida Margaretha Wants Level One – Deserves Level None

This week on TLC’s 90 Day Fiance, Leida Margaretha sinks further into the abyss of immaturity. She threatens to leave Eric Rosenbrook if she’s not numero uno even above his kids. Eric tries to explain human decency to her, but it falls on deaf ears. Then the angry Indonesian admits she only came to America to pursue her medical career.

Whoops, she wondered did I really say that out loud? Eric’s jaw drops as the undeniable red flag slaps him in the face. She wants him to give her an amount equal to his child support and ditch his kid. Eric’s testosterone comes out of hiding at last. He grows a pair and stands up to Leida. He tells her to go back to Indonesia, rips off his TLC microphone and tells production he’s done.

Eric Rosenbrook Caves (Again) to His 90 Day Fiance

Fans of 90 Day Fiance won’t get the satisfaction of Leida taking her spoiled ass back home, however. One of them slept on the Barbie blow-up couch and the other got the bed. One night apart and it seems Eric changed his tune.  Eric and Leida take a walk through scenic downtown Baraboo and tries to smooth things over. It works – at least for now.

As always Eric gives in and tells her she is number one. (But she’s acting like number two.) Leida’s next demand is that Tasha vacates the apartment, like today. She compromises saying she will “let” him to continue to support his minor child. How generous of #5 runner-up Miss Indonesia. Notice she has no issue letting Jennica babysit her son. TLC’s 90 Day Fiance cuts to commercials, which are mostly previews for more TLC shows.

Side note to TLC: Is it really necessary for Dr. Pimple Popper to have a Christmas special? ‘The 12 Pops of Christmas’? On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, an open wound that smells like gangrene…

Leida Curb-Kicks Tasha Hard on 90 Day Fiance

Leida, she of no boundaries, creeps in Tasha Rosenbrook’s room. Miffed by the mess, she uses her stock complaint of “it’s not proper”. Neither is invading another adult’s personal space. Tasha arrives home and Leida confronts her about her sloppy room. Tasha calmly asks why the hell she was in there in the first place.

On 90 Day Fiance, the two argue in front of the children who seem numb to the foul foolery swirling around them. Tasha tells Leida to get the f*ck out of her country. Leida tells Tasha to get her s*it and get out of the apartment. Leida starts flashing her phone around showing Tasha receipts of texts saying Eric wants her out. Tasha laughs and calls her dramatic. Time to call daddy.

Leida Keeps Snipping Eric’s Family Ties

Leida’s middle school mentality kicks in and she calls Eric threatening again to leave. No such luck. Instead, Tasha packs bags and starts moving out. Her parting words to Leida are along the lines of you don’t deserve my father. You’d think the episode was sponsored by the letters F and C based on Leida and Tasha’s screamed profanities.

Leida says she relishes the role of evil stepmother. Allessandro and Jennica play on happily. What is “normal” for these poor kids if this screaming doesn’t even raise their eyebrows? Later, Tasha breaks down outside to producers and takes off her mic. Honestly, Tasha, your father doesn’t deserve YOU. #TeamTasha

Fernanda Flores and Jon Rivera Blow Out of the Windy City

Jonathan Rivera and Fernanda Flores time in Chi-town is up on 90 Day Fiance. They spent time with Jon’s family but the visit had drama. Jon’s twice-divorced mom Ceci can’t process Jon’s desire to marry a hot 19-year-old. Really? Fernanda psychoanalyzes her fiance.

She tells producers that Latin families are closer than American families. She also babbles an old wives axiom about how he treats his mother is how he will treat you. Over steaming mugs of soy macchiato, it’s Jon who sheds tears this time.

Jonathan Cries in His Coffee

Fer presses him to call his mother and tell her he “luuuuuurves her”. Jonathan sheds tears and says he will try. He cries again in an aside saying that things change when you move out on your own for ten years.

Or when your mom finds out about your Mexican cutie on Facebook and has to slug a glass of cabernet just to meet her. Jon promises to make it right and Fernanda goes a whole episode without shedding a tear. For now. #TeamFer

Mechanicsburg: A Great Place to Live

Then we check in with our next couple, Jay Smith and Ashley Martson. The 90 Day Fiance camera crew zooms in on the welcome sign of Ashley’s hometown of Mechanicsburg, PA. It reads “Mechanicsburg, A Nice Place to Live.” Ironic, since Ash and Jay are taking precautions after someone made racist and threatening comments on their wedding website.

Jay installs security cameras while Ashley supervises. Nice to see the kid getting his chores done. The two have decided to cancel their rustic barn wedding in lieu of eloping to Vegas. Then they tell Ashley’s friends and bridesmaids their plans. Seated around a fire pit, the adults drink some red wine. Jay gets a Slurpee and animal crackers because he’s too young to drink. #TeamSlurpee

Always a Bridesmaid, But Never a Wedding

Ashley’s head bow channels midwest American Girl doll. One of Ashley friends looks like she fronts a Go-Go’s cover band. So Ash and Jay break the news. This is Ashley’s third canceled wedding. The girls claim to understand and act like it’s no biggie. For a third time they paid for chiffon mango dresses that have no purpose in the real world. Maybe they left the tags on…

Jay and Ashley pack for Vegas on 90 Day Fiance. Jay preens in his red suit. He says five years ago he never dreamed he’d be marrying. Then there’s someone at the door (surely not staged by TLC!). Ashley and Jay run to answer the screaming and banging. It’s her ex-BFF Natalie. But we have to wait till next week to see what the crazed ex-bestie unleashes.

Steven Frend Pushing Buttons All By Himself

Steven Frend sits giving Olga Koshimbetova the stink eye as she feeds his son on 90 Day Fiance. Adorable baby Richie is three weeks old. He goes to see a lawyer about getting Richie his American citizenship. In an aside he tells producers he and Olga are still pushing each other’s buttons. Huh? Certainly, the only person pushing buttons is YOU, Steven.

Suited up in his fanny pack, he heads to the law office. Steven is perplexed as always when having to speak to an adult or grasp a command. The attorney informs him obtaining Richie’s citizenship will be fairly easy, but due to the political climate, Olga’s not so much. He returns home and informs Olga of the news.

They must go to the US embassy in Moscow to do paperwork. Olga lights up and says they can spend some time together seeing the sights. On 90 Day Fiance, the stressed out family arrives in Red Square. They will meet Olga’s best friend Anna. It’s heartwarming to see Olga happy as she rushes into the arms of her best friend. The reception is not as warm for Steven, as Anna knows he’s been a jerk.

Cold War in Red Square

Anna questions Steven’s behavior. He brings up the ridiculous point of Olga not saying please or thank you. Olga rolls her eyes and says Steven likes to complain. Anna puts him right in his place and tells him he needs to step up and be a man. When questioned whether or not he’d be here if a baby wasn’t involved, Steven says he’s not sure.

This upsets Olga as does the fact that she fears he may try to take Richie to the US without her. This better not even be a possibility. This kid can’t tie his shoe without getting pissy much less take care of a newborn! Yet in his asides with TLC, it sure seems like the man-child is thinking he might just take his American son and leave Olga behind. #TeamOlga

Kalani Faagata Makes Asuelu Pulaa Cry (Again)

Sister Kolini Faagata prepares to leave Utah looking constipated, as usual, on 90 Day Fiance. Kalani Faagata summons Asuelu Pulaa and forces him to bid her cranky sis goodbye. Things ended up awkward after a brunch where the couple fought and Asuelu walked out.

Once killjoy Kolini departs, Kalani wants to talk about the fight. She is frustrated at their lack of communication. He doesn’t care to sit for hours analyzing everything that happens while she prattles in monotone-Kardashian speak. Poor Asuelu.

Asuelu Needs a Cuddle

Asuelu tells his 90 Day Fiance that he tries to make her happy, but if he slips up, she gets mad. Kalani talks to him like you’d speak to a second grader asking them about behavior that you don’t like. Is this a language barrier thing or is she just plain condescending? He breaks down crying and tells Kalani that in Samoa he missed her and only had his pillow to cuddle at night.

Asuelu wants to cuddle with Kalani (although the pillow had more personality). Her rejection makes him sad. Finally, Kalani apologizes and they hug. Let’s hope he gets some cuddles real soon! Till next week! #TeamAsuelu

That’s it for the 90 Day Fiance Season 6 Episode 8 ‘No Way Out’. Head back to TLC Sunday night’s to see what happens next with the couples as they careen towards the altar.

Check back often to SoapDirt for all your 90 Day Fiance recaps, news and spoilers!

 

**This recap comes courtesy of guest blogger Natalie Smiley and in no way reflects the opinions of Soap Dirt or its staffers and affiliates (although we think it’s hilarious).