On 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After Angela Deem raged as Michael Ilesanmi checked out some booty at the bachelor party. Larissa Lima gets her inspiration for plastic surgery from blow-up dolls while Colt Johnson admits to sending junk pics to random women.
Kalani Faagata is ready to pull the plug on marriage to Asuelu Pulaa. And Karine Martins takes matters into her on hands on this week’s episode Compromising Positions. Now, let’s take a closer look at what we can’t unsee in this recap.
Michael Breaks Angela Deem’s Golden Rule on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After
Bride-to-be Angela Deem’s days away from her Nigerian nuptials. The Georgia gal feels a little low since her family can’t attend. But Angela’s BFF JoJo is on the way. Next, Angela Deem and 90 Day Fiance Michael Ilesanmi head to the florist. There, Angela wants a bouquet to represent the family that can’t be there. With that done, Angela Deem feels a little better even though she went over-budget.
Later, on 90 Day Fiance, JoJo arrives in time for Michael and Angela Deem’s combo bachelor/bachelorette party. Of course, it’s no secret that Angela doesn’t want Michael anywhere near another woman. Next, they head to a club and Angela’s peeved to see the cheeky entertainment. But Angela Deem agrees to be a good sport and have fun in her penis tiara.
Plus, Angela Deem even has penis crowns for the guys. After lots of drinks on 90 Day Fiance HEA, Angela and her future hubby make out. And he dry humps her after Angela sticks her finger in his mouth. But then, Michael’s eyes fix on a dancer’s ample tushy and Angela sees. Then, Angela Deem flips and demands to leave. Of course, Angela calls off the wedding again on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After.
— Blocked by Big Ed The Mucinex Snot (@oucrimsongirl) August 31, 2020
Colt Sends Random Girls Pics Of his Johnson on 90 Day Fiance
Colt Johnson has breakfast with new roomie Vanessa Guerra on Happily Ever After. Why this woman wants to live at the modern-day Bates Motel is a mystery. Colt informs Vanessa that his new Brazilian girlfriend, Jess Caroline, arrives soon. And, he hasn’t told Jess that Vanessa moved in. So, she better plan on ducking if she sees Jess taking off her shoes on 90 Day Fiance.
So, the first place Colt wants Jess to see in Vegas is a cat cafe on Happily Ever After. He hopes cats can soften the blow of him admitting his former booty call’s now his roommate. But, Jess is one step ahead. Now, it seems eight women told her they have pics of Coltee’s junk. Blushing Colt says he’s sorry. And he’s ashamed he indulged in “inappropriate imagery”. Nah. He’s just sorry she found out on 90 Day Fiance.
"Really got to get out of this cat cafe. I feel like Jess is just wanting to humiliate me in public"
Dude: you're a E-List TLC celebrity who sends dick pics like currency. You've already humiliated yourself #90DayFiance #90DayFianceHappilyEverAfter pic.twitter.com/y7mKZepfCm
— Jonathan Osman 😷 (@JonathanOsman) August 31, 2020
Jess Isn’t Playing on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After
Colt wasn’t expecting to be ambushed over his online indiscretions. Next, he suggests they go to the house where mother-wife Debbie can be a buffer before Jess pokes his eye out with her heel. Then, Mama Deb throws grapes and strawberries on a plate and Colt pours booze. Later, during awkward small talk, Jess says she likes the living room slot machine and shrunken head decor.
After a little more polite banter Jess can’t help herself anymore on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After. She calls Colt out as a good actor. Debbie gets nervous and Colt suggests she leave as this heads for the pooper. Jess asks Deb if she wants to see proof of Colt cheating. Deb’s heard this song before, so she side-eyes it and runs up the steps mouthing “who is against the queen will die” on 90 Day Fiance.
— 90 Day Fiance WTF (@90dayfianceWTF) August 31, 2020
Andrei Takes Family Libby out For Grape-Stomping Fun on 90 Day Fiance
Things actually took a good turn for Andrei Castravet and wife Elizabeth Potthast for a minute on Happily Ever After. Andrei and family take the branch Floridians to a cute village to make wine. On the way, sister Jen is a reminder that money can’t buy class or intelligence. Brother Charlie mentions that Moldovan girls are pretty, so why did Andrei have to get an American one as his 90 Day Fiance.
This makes Jen question if Moldovan girls have attitudes like Russian girls. Andrei savagely reminds her that she’s the one with attitude – and she once thought China and Japan were the same country. At the farm, Andrei happily shows everyone how to juice the grapes. Jen’s confused and dad Chuck jabs at Andrei. This leads Andrei to crack on Chuck not being used to actually working on 90 Day Fiance.
Then, Papa Potthast stomps a bucket of grapes to make his own version of 2 Buck Chuck. Soon, everybody joins in on the fun and there is even an adorable baby donkey on hand. Charlie and Andrei even stomp in a bucket together. And Jen grows even more confused and wonders when they can pour the vodka into the grapes to finish the wine on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After.
— sKInNy LegEnd 😳😤😤😤😤 (@lmao_lexxiii) August 31, 2020
The Mod Squad Calls A Meeting in Moldova
In spite of cute donkeys and a day of fun, Chuck and Charlie still think Andrei has some sinister secret. They’re sure it’s the reason he left being a cop in Moldova to be a bouncer in Ireland. Then, they set up a meeting with Andrei’s buddy Marcel who was also a cop with him and also moved to Ireland on 90 Day Fiance.
Like a sad version of the Mod Squad, they interrogate Marcel. He rightly says that if hubby Libby doesn’t want to discuss it, that’s his prerogative. The cops in Moldova are corrupt and they had to leave because they were in danger of being set up. End of story. So, can someone please remind these people that he already married into the family and they have no jurisdiction outside of Tampa (or in Tampa either). This 90 Day Fiance plot’s getting tired. Book-em Dan-o.
— Susie Lowry (@lowry_susie) August 31, 2020
Kalani Is Tired Of Asuelu and Wants Out on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After
Kalani Faagata’s days and nights are an endless blur of dealing with a helpless and bratty child. And it’s her grown-a** husband Asuelu Pulaa, not her kids. After his sister threatened Kalani, she returned to the Airbnb to discuss it with Asuelu. But, he got miffed that his wife thought she could fight his sister. After hearing her complain to her sister, Kolini Faagata, about him, then Asuelu left, on 90 Day Fiance.
It turns out he spent the night at his family’s house and Kalani went to a hotel. Next, she calls her mom and complains that Asuelu doesn’t get it. Now, she isn’t sure if she wants to stick around and wait for him to mature. But, he showed up with balloons and flowers for Valentine’s Day but doesn’t want to talk about their issues. Kalani suggests therapy and he agrees but doesn’t know what it is on 90 Day Fiance.
The family packs up to head home and Kalani’s exhausted. She tosses the balloons and flowers at the airport and heads inside. She tells producers she just wants to go home and that she might be done. When 90 Day Fiance producers ask her what she means, she says that she might not want to be married anymore. In the background, Asuelu wails for a soft pretzel and ice cream, so off she goes on HEA.
— Fashionista Philly (@Fashionistaphil) August 31, 2020
Karine Takes Matters Into Her on Hands
Karine Martins is frustrated. Trapped in a miniature house with Hefty bags as curtains, she’s tired of arguing with husband Paul Staehle. She gets son Pierre ready and joins the club of 90 Day Fiance cast members seeking legal counsel. Karine gets an Uber and heads to ask a lawyer if she can leave the country with the baby. Karine gets some promising news.
So, the lawyer says she can go but also says that Paul might still try and drag her into family court to face consequences. Next, the attorney urges her to leave on good terms and says Paul has parental rights. But, Karine insists that while she wants to get the hell out of there, she won’t deny Paul access to Pierre on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After.
Paul returns to the one-room house with unripe plantains and waves hi to his dogs. Karine is annoyed by the fruit and tells him via the translator that she saw a lawyer. He says he’s given her everything she wanted. He threatens prosecution if she tries to run with their son. Then, he tries to hug her while she cries and tells him just stop it. That’s a 90 Day Fiance downer.
— Reality Bites (@RilkeHousewives) August 31, 2020
Self-Loathing In Las Vegas On 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After
TLC has decided to keep the Larissa Dos Santos Lima storyline going no matter what apparently. No matter that she’s a 90 Day Fiance ex awaiting deportation… We see her and Eric Nichols, American enabler of her self-loathing downward spiral. It seems she’s on a quest to turn herself into a living blow-up doll on Eric’s dime. And he’s totally there for it. Ericee and her friend Heather go for a boobee consult.
So, the doctor is down with her getting obvi fake tatas that are high and tight and shaving the end off her “bulbous nose.” Larissa says she lost confidence in her breasticles after giving birth. She hopes getting new ones will relight the “flameee” in her sex life with Eric on 90 Day Fiance. As he hears about surgery side effects, Eric listens in horror. But as long as he gets his hands on some double Ds, he’s still game.
Later, at the lingerie store, Eric tells the clerk Larissa is getting enormous new headlights and they need some coverings. So, Larissa gets a red sheer cape while Eric looks at something that matches their drapes (but not the carpet?). Then, Larissa says she needs lipo, a tummy tuck, and fat moved to her butt.
Now, watch next week to see if Angela Deem gets her wedding (spoiler alert – they got happily hitched in January).
You can read all the latest scoop on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After by clicking on Soap Dirt.